


Malec Prompts & One-Shots

by notcrypticbutcoy



Category: Mortal Instruments Series - Cassandra Clare
Genre: Adorable, Angst, Biphobia, Blood, Coffee Shop, Crying, Exhaustion, Fluff, Happy Ending, Headaches, Insecurities, Jewellery, M/M, Malec, One Shot, Roommates, Showers, Tears, Unrequited Love, Visions, Why Did I Write This?, alec is a BAMF, and Magnus knows it, but Alec's still denying it, implied magnus/camille, jace doesn't love alec, magnus and alec being cute, magnus is not impressed, mini-arguments, one-sided jalec, platonic jalec, roommates have sex, sexy shadowhunter, sexy warlock, sleepy!alec, you are not trivial
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-08-24
Updated: 2016-04-06
Packaged: 2018-04-17 00:47:46
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 16
Words: 26,380
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4646154
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/notcrypticbutcoy/pseuds/notcrypticbutcoy
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Malec prompts and one-shots, all stand-alone.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Roommates and Coffee

**Author's Note:**

> Prompt: 'we both got kicked out of our rooms because our roommates are having sex and now we're standing in the hallway trying not to look at each other AU'

Alec stared in utter disbelief as Jace burst through the door, entwined with his red-headed girlfriend, lips locked together, both of them making obscene noises that should have been utterly illegal in the presence of anybody else.

And they were not in private.

Alec supposed that he was probably supposed to know the name of Jace's now-girlfriend. Clara, or something? He had to give it to her, she'd managed to keep Jace for more than four weeks, which beat any other girl he'd been interested in by about twenty-seven days. She was alright, really, but Alec didn't particularly want to listen to her blather on about artwork again.

He coughed pointedly from where he sat on his bed. No way would he let them make-out (or, god forbid, worse) when he was in the room. 

"Jace," he snapped.

Jace removed a hand from where it was tangled in Clary's (that was it, Clary) hair, and flipped up his middle finger in Alec's general direction. He pulled his lips away a moment later, turned to Alec, and said, "Fuck off, Alec."

Alec narrowed his eyes. "Excuse me, Herondale, you just burst into the room which I am in. I'm not watching you two grope each other."

Clary, at least, had the decency to look embarrassed. Her cheeks turned a shade of red that would rival even Alec's most furious flush, but she didn't say anything. Maybe she was a little intimidated by Alec - he hadn't exactly been warm and welcoming to her - or maybe she just really, really wanted to get Jace on his own.

Jace, on the other hand, looked unconcerned. "If you don't want to watch, leave."

Alec opened his mouth to argue, but Jace was back at it, pushing Clary towards the bed now, fingers running along the hem of her tank top. 

Gaping at the display, Alec leapt up off his bed, snatched his phone from the dresser, and stormed out of the room. He slammed the door behind him, strode out into the hallway, and huffed. He had nowhere to go. He could go to a coffee shop, but he didn't have his wallet with him. It was in his room. It was raining outside, so wandering around for a few hours didn't sound particularly appealing. And he'd left his headphones in his room, so had nothing to do while he stood aimlessly in the hallway, his fellow college students rushing around him.

Then Magnus Bane walked past him.

As per usual, Magnus was dressed in bright, sinful clothing: tight red skinny jeans, a shimmering golden tank-top, and a casual dark jacket that did good things for his shoulders. Alec totally didn't find the tastefully-applied make-up attractive, he had no interest in that gelled-up, glitter-covered hair, and he most definitely hadn't ever gazed at Magnus' ass.

At least, that was what he told himself.

Magnus walked past him without evening glancing in Alec's direction. He looked stressed, as though he had a hundred and one things to do and only five minutes to spare. Knowing the number of parties Magnus went to, that was probably true. 

Alec watched Magnus as he walked down the corridor to his room, two down from Alec and Jace's room, and then smiled wryly. Magnus' roommate, Will, whom Alec knew vaguely through Jace, had some poor soul pressed up against the door, and in full view of the corridor was kissing the hell out of him.

"William," Magnus snapped. "Move. I've got a million things I need to do, and—"

"Oh, loosen up, Bane," Will said, not really looking at Magnus. 

Magnus raised one eyebrow, his expression dangerous. If Alec were under that gaze, he'd have moved. Will, though, didn't seem to care. 

"Will." Magnus jabbed a finger into Will's back. "Get out of my way, or I swear to god—"

"We're moving," Will said. He shot Magnus a sickly sweet smile, then yanked open the door and dragged himself and the other guy through, before shutting it with a bang in Magnus' face. 

Magnus looked utterly astonished. Then his face morphed into a scowl, and he whirled round. His eyes rested on Alec, who was watching him with something between amusement and sympathy.

"Let me guess," Magnus said, "Blondie chucked you out, too."

"Possibly," Alec said, shrugging. 

The next five minutes were spent in silence. They both stood there, neither looking at the other. Alec winced when he heard a shout come from inside his room that most certainly didn't come from Clary. God, why couldn't these people control themselves? It wasn't like Alec spent all his time in the room. Why couldn't they have gone somewhere else, or done this some other time, damn it?

He felt Magnus' eyes on him. After a few minutes of Magnus staring at Alec pretending not to notice, Alec glanced across at Magnus, and met his strange, yellow-green eyes. He reddened just a little at Magnus' pointed attention. 

"Please," Magnus said, "can we get out of here? If I hear any more sounds coming from my room..." 

He didn't need to finish his sentence. Alec understood. "Where do you want to go?"

Magnus didn't miss a beat. "Somewhere that sells coffee."

Alec smiled. "Late night?"

"Yeah. Studying." Magnus glared. 

"I haven't got any money with me," Alec said, "but I'll go with you. I'm bored as hell."

Magnus beamed. Without further ado, they strode out of the building and Magnus lead the way across to what he deemed the best coffee shop in Brooklyn. It was a little place on the corner of a street called Taki's. Alec had never noticed it before, but Magnus rattled off some overly-complex order as though he'd been there a thousand times. He probably had.

"And a black coffee," Magnus added. 

The barista blinked in what looked to Alec like surprise, then asked for the money. Magnus handed it over, then they waited to one side for Magnus' order. When Magnus collected the two cups, he handed one to Alec. 

"Here," he said. "You look like you need it as much as I do."

Alec immediately protested. "You paid, and we barely know each other, and I don't have any money to pay you back. I can't take it."

"I insist," Magnus said, pushing the cup firmly into Alec's hands. "Besides, we can fix both those problems. We can get to know each other better on Friday, over coffee, in here. You can pay." Magnus' eyes sparkled as he looked at Alec, and Alec found himself rendered speechless. 

He stuttered. "You- Are you- You just asked me out."

"Well spotted, Alexander," Magnus said, grinning. Alec didn't know why Magnus called him that, but he always had. "So, what do you say?"

Alec nodded, smiling. "Okay. Do you want my number?"

They exchanged numbers, then wandered around the city, drinks in hand, laughing and talking. Alec realised that he really didn't mind that he'd been kicked out of his room. In fact, if it meant that he could spend more time with Magnus, Jace was welcome to have sex with Clary in their room any time he liked.


	2. It's What Makes Us Human

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which Magnus has a vision, Alec comes home to a lot of blood, and Alec thinks about what makes us human.

Alec's face morphed into a frown when he saw a smear of blood on the banister of the rickety steps leading up to his and Magnus' loft. His hand tightened reflexively on the bow he was holding, his entire body tensing without conscious thought. 

The front door was already cracked open when Alec reached the top of the stairs. Heart thudding, he pushed it open, stepping in silently, his entire body on alert. He wanted to call out to Magnus, check that he was just being paranoid and that nothing was wrong, but his instinct told him to shut up. 

His stomach dropped when he saw more blood on the floor; he pushed the front door shut behind him. The last thing he needed was prying mundanes. He could hear his pulse in his ears as he stepped silently across the room, following the ever-increasing trail of blood. He swallowed. It wasn't Magnus'. It couldn't be Magnus'. Magnus was the High Warlock of Brooklyn. And if something had happened, he'd have called him. It was okay. Everything was fine.

But just in case... Alec set his bow down - it wouldn't be much use in close-combat - and slid out a seraph blade, naming it near-silently under his breath.

The blood lead to the bathroom. He stiffened all over when he heard a choking noise coming from inside—choking that belonged to Magnus. Rage filled him. Angel, if there was something in there hurting Magnus, then so help him, it would wish for the sweet release of death by the time he finished with it.

He paused outside the door, standing up against the wall as Magnus' strangled sounds became recognisable as sobs, raw and scratchy and agonised. Alec froze for a moment. Magnus, crying? That wasn't a common occurrence. 

He decided to use the element of surprise to his advantage. He couldn't waste any more time. If Magnus had lost that much blood, and if he was making those terrible noises that would haunt Alec for weeks, then something bad was going on.

Alec sucked in a deep breath, seraph blade held out in front of him, and knocked his shoulder hard into the door. But, contrary to what he'd expected, the door wasn't locked or barricaded. It sprung open, causing him to stumble into the bathroom.

It took him a good second to even begin to take in the scene in front of him. Magnus, blood covering his jeans and t-shirt and hands and arms - Angel, there was even a smear on his collarbone - tears streaming down his face, a dead girl - a werewolf girl - crumpled in a heap in front of him.

Alec stared at him. Magnus' gaze was fixed on the dead girl. What the heck was going on?

He tried to keep his voice gentle, but he was sure it sounded harsh due merely to how utterly shocked he was. "Magnus—"

Magnus' head whipped up at the sound. His eyes widened, and a wild look covered his face. Without warning, he lifted a hand a splayed his fingers outwards, simultaneously sending Alec skidding backwards and slamming the door in his face.

It took him a moment to recover. Magnus, his boyfriend, the man he loved more than anything, the man who loved him, had just used magic on him to forcefully move him and lock him out of a room. Not to mention the fact that in that room was a dead girl, and her blood covered the apartment and Magnus.

Alec threw his seraph blade down and pounded a fist against the bathroom door. "Magnus! Let me in!" When that got no response, he grabbed at the doorknob on the off-chance that it was unlocked. It wasn't. He cursed, and slammed his hand against the door again. "Magnus!"

"Leave me alone," came the surprisingly calm voice of Magnus. Alec stared at the door incredulously. He'd heard that tone many a time before. It was the warlock's petulant tone, like a child who wanted to be left alone by its parents to sulk. And it infuriated Alec every time.

He let out an angry breath. "Magnus. Tell me what the hell is going on."

"Go away, Alec."

Alec tried throwing his whole weight against the door, but came away with just a bruised shoulder. Magnus must have sealed in magically. "No! I come home on a regular day to find blood everywhere, and my boyfriend in the bathroom with a dead girl in front of him, crying, her blood all over him."

"I tried," Magnus whispered.

Alec stopped trying to destroy the door for a moment. "What do you mean, you tried?"

"I tried to stop them."

Alec had never heard Magnus sound like this. So broken, so desperate, so...young. He sounded like a person looking at their first dead body, after seeing the body as it made the transition from a living thing with feelings and a future and a past to a lifeless corpse in a mere few seconds. 

But why? Alec didn't understand why.

"Mags," he tried again, softly, this time. "Please. Let me in."

"You'll hate me."

Alec hadn't thought he could get any more bewildered, but Magnus had just proven him wrong. "I could never hate you."

There was a moment of silence. Alec waited with surprising patience. Eventually, the handle on the door turned, slowly, and the lock drew back. Alec let out a sigh of relief, and pushed the door open fully to step inside. 

Magnus had one bloody hand tugging at his hair, the other gripping the edge of his t-shirt—

No. It was Alec's t-shirt. It was the same t-shirt Magnus had been wearing the previous night, because Alec had needed to leave early in the morning and Magnus always claimed he preferred waking up if things at least smelt like Alec. Alec had rolled his eyes when Magnus had first told him that, but secretly, he'd felt pleased that he meant that much to the warlock. 

But why was Magnus still wearing Alec's t-shirt? Alec knew he'd had clients today. Several clients. In fact, Magnus shouldn't even have been home yet. 

He dropped carefully to his knees beside Magnus, and out his hands lightly on the warlock's forearms. Magnus allowed him to take his blood-covered hands, face twisted with guilt and shame and sorrow.

"Mags," Alec said. "Tell me what's going on."

"The blood," Magnus whispered, still not looking at him. "There was so much blood, Alec." 

Alec nodded. "I can see that."

"No." Magnus closed his eyes and shook his head slowly. "Not here. Not this."

Alec's brow furrowed. "Then where?"

"In my dream." Magnus sucked in a shuddering breath, and Alec's confusion only deepened. In his dream? Did Magnus mean he'd had one of his visions, like he did occasionally? "There was too much," Magnus continued. "I couldn't do anything. It was everywhere. Everywhere." Magnus dropped his head, shoulders shaking with tearless sobs. "I couldn't do anything. I tried. I tried. But it didn't work."

Alec brushed a hand up Magnus' back, going to tangle his fingers comfortingly in the warlock's filthy hair. He didn't say anything.

Magnus opened his eyes, and turned to Alec, sheer agony written across his beautiful features, red lines shot through the whites of his eyes. "You died, Alec. Right out there, on the floor, in my arms, my magic still trying to heal you."

"I'm right here," Alec said, pressing Magnus' palm to his heart. Magnus watched his fingers as they felt the steady beat of that most vital organ, apparently ignorant to Alec's growing worry. What was wrong with Magnus? This was so out of character.

"You're here." Magnus lifted his eyes to give him a watery smile. "You're here." His smile dropped. "But you wouldn't be. Not if...not if this hadn't happened." He gestured to the girl, the movement lacking all its usual grace and sophisticated. Magnus was exhausted, Alec realised. He was physically and mentally drained.

"What did she have to do with any of this?" Alec asked.

Magnus looked resolutely away from him and dropped his eyes to her ruined, expressionless face. "She was bait."

Alec's heart stopped. "She what?" he asked faintly.

"She was the distraction," Magnus whispered. "The demons that we're going to kill you...they went after her first. In my dream, I stopped them. I saved her. But in reality, I- I stood there and made sure it happened. If they hadn't killed her, I would have done something else to keep them occupied. Something...equally disgusting. Something just as horrible as what I did."

"But you didn't," Alec said, finally understanding. "You tried to save her. That's why she's here."

"It was too little too late. She was nearly dead by the time I realised what I was doing. I destroyed those demons, I portalled back here, but I couldn't save her." Magnus choked out another sob. "What does this make me, Alec? What am I turning in touch? Immortality is ruining me. I'm turning into a cold-hearted monster."

Alarm spiked in Alec's chest. "No. No." He searched for the right words, the words that would put the light back in Magnus' eyes, but he was struggling. "You did this precisely because you're not a cold-hearted monster."

Magnus shook his head, tears still dripping down his face. "It was selfish. I chose one innocent life over another."

Alec couldn't argue with that. He had. But he would have done the same thing if it were Magnus. So would Clary, if it were Jace. So would Simon, for Isabelle. They'd all do the same for each other. It was what made them human. The fear, the desperation to do anything possible for the ones you loved, the guilt when you saw what you'd done... It was all humanity.

And, he thoughts as all this ran through his head, he should, perhaps, be saying that to Magnus.

Alec lifted his hand to place it along Magnus' cheek, but was covered in blood, so he settled for touching the warlock's chin briefly with the back of his hand. "You're wrong," Alec said simply.

Magnus laughed bitterly. "Thank you for your vote of confidence, but I think you're a little biased. For several reasons."

Alec let the comment slide, though it made him purse his lips. "This isn't immortality freezing you. This is mortality unfreezing you. You're living, loving like a mortal, even though you're not."

Magnus curled his lip. "Then mortality is doing a crap job."

Alec shook his head, exasperated. "No! That's exactly my point! This!" He put his palm against Magnus' heart in a mirror image of the way they'd say earlier. "This is humanity, Magnus. Being in pain, making reckless and selfish decisions because that's all you can do, acting like you're going insane because that's what love and family and friendship does to you—it's all mortality. It's all being human. It's what you wanted." His voice softened, and he smiled a little. "It's being Peter Pan. Just like you said."

Magnus closed his eyes and swallowed. "I should hate it when you quote me to me."

Alec's lips twitched. "This is what being human is. You know that. Maybe you've just forgotten, after so many decades - centuries - forcing everything inside yourself."

Magnus looked at him. Really looked at him. "When did you get so clever?"

"Right about when you broke up with me."

Magnus sighed, and looked around them, first at the girl, then at his jeans, his hands, and Alec's hands. Magnus had blood all the way up to his elbows, and the bathroom floor was more red than white.

"Shower," Alec said firmly. "You shower, I'll sort this out."

"It's my mess. Besides, I can clean it up quicker than you can."

"Don't even think about it," Alec told him firmly. "Shut up, get in the shower and go back to smelling like you instead of death and blood and ichor. I'm a Shadowhunter. Cleaning up bodies is in the job description."

***

By the time Magnus was done in the shower, Alec had called Jace and Clary, told them the abridged version version of the story (this version left out Magnus' vision and breakdown), asked them to contact Luke and the girl's family, and cleaned up the bathroom. He'd scrubbed until it was spotless, all the while trying to ignore Magnus' silhouette behind the steamy shower door.

Half an hour, one body cleaned away, one bathroom perfectly cleaned (he may have employed some of Jace's tactics) and one warlock—

Walking out of the bathroom, hair dripping, towel slung low on his lips, looking sexy as sin. 

Alec smiled at Magnus as he came round and sat down on the sofa beside him. Alec had slipped into the guest bathroom for a quick shower to get the day's grime and the evening's blood off him, and was dressed in a comfy pair of sweatpants and a sweater that Magnus was currently fingering and gripping lightly, seeming distracted.

Alec took his hands, watching him intently. "Are you okay?" 

Magnus nodded. "I will be. I'm sorry, Alec. For everything today."

Alec ran his fingertips lightly through Magnus' hair. "It's okay. It's all fine now."

The warlock shifted, and then wrapped his arms around Alec, burying his face in the Shadowhunter's neck as he moved so that he was straddling Alec's thighs. Alec held him close, inhaling that unique smell that only came with Magnus: musky woodlands, sandalwood, that burnt-sugar smell of magic, that vanilla scent of old books.

"I should really be saying thank you," Alec said, "for saving my life."

He felt Magnus smile against his neck. "I think we're past that, don't you?"

Alec pulled back a little and saw that the mischief was back, dancing in Magnus' eyes, lighting up his face. Alec smiled widely at him, then leant forward and sealed their lips together, marking the end of a day that Alec would not forget for a long time.

(Mostly because of what Magnus did later that night.)


	3. To Dream of Death

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which Magnus dreams of blood, Alec finds him clutching at his sweater, and Magnus finds the ultimate comfort.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm so sorry. I keep writing angst.

_There was so much blood. Blood everywhere. It washed across the battlefield like an unstoppable river, cascading down towards the dead bodies of Shadowhunters and Downworlders alike being pulled down to the bottom on the slope._

_Magnus stopped, chest rising and falling in horror, as he surveyed the utter destruction around him. So many people were dead. People he knew. People he'd spoken to. Nameless strangers. People he'd loved and loathed and hadn't known. The stench of death infiltrated his nostrils, making his head spin. Magnus had been surrounded by so much death, so many mortals passing, throughout his life, but this... This was ruination on a scale he'd never seen before. Not when Valentine had sent his demon army. Not in any of the many battles against Sebastian and the Endarkened._

_A hand gripped at his forearm, hard. Magnus drew his gaze away from the demolition around him, away from the few survivors crying over dead relatives and taking corpses away from the chaos, and saw Jace Herondale, golden eyes wide and desperate._

_"Alec," Jace gasped. Magnus realised that this was likely due to the wound splitting open across his torso. "You have to... You have to..."_

_Magnus grabbed both of Jace's shoulders as the all-golden man dropped to his knees, whether from pain or grief, Magnus couldn't tell. Everyone they knew was dead. Everyone. Isabelle, Clary, Simon, Catarina, Tessa... Their bodies all lay there in the clearing._

_"Jace," he said, urgently. "Jace!"_

_Jace's eyes had flickered closed, but he slid them open, all his usual arrogance and rudeness absent._

_"Alec."_

_"What about Alec?" Magnus asked impatiently, heart pounding against his ribs. "Tell me, Jace. Come on!"_

_"Hurt," Jace whispered. "I can feel it." His hand reached up to press against the parabatai rune._

_Magnus hesitated for only a moment. "You're hurt, too."_

_"'M fine. Alec..."_

_The warlock didn't need to hear anything else. He pressed Jace's stele into his hand, hoping that he'd be able to save himself, and stood up straight, spinning round, searching desperately for his fiancé._

_"Alec!" he hollered, wind whipping viciously across his face, blowing his filthy shirt flat against his chest. "Alec!" Magnus moved around, shouting Alec's name, his hopelessness and despair increasing with each passing minute. Every time he caught sight of a bow, every time he saw a flash of black hair, his breath caught in his throat, but each time it was someone else._

_Until it was Alec. But it wasn't the bow or the dark, dark hair that caught Magnus' attention. It was the croaking, broken 'Magnus', and the blood. Oh, God, there was so much blood. It was everywhere._

_Magnus collapsed beside Alec, heart clenching and shattering in his chest as he surveyed the damage. Everywhere. There were wounds everywhere. On his face, on his chest, his torso, his thigh... God, there was so much blood._

_"Magnus," Alec whispered through blood-coated lips. The stark contrast between the pale skin of his skin and the crimson trickle of blood at the corner of his mouth made tears sting Magnus' eyes._

_"Shh, darling," Magnus said softly. He lifted Alec's head and shoulders into his lap as despair crashed through him in waves, and stroked back his hair tenderly. He couldn't save Alec. The damage was too great. He'd failed him. God, he couldn't lose Alec so soon. Not now. Not when they'd barely begun. Why hadn't he been there? Why hadn't he protected him?_

_Nevertheless, sparks flew between Magnus' fingers, his magic trying its damnedest to save the young Nephilim._

_Magnus used his free hand to grip one of Alec's, their engagement rings - their tangible promises of forever, their obvious claiming of each other, mind, body and soul - glinting in the pale sunlight._

_Alec choked, his entire body convulsing and blood spurting in fits from between his lips. Magnus clenched his jaw, tears dripping down his cheeks and sliding off his chin as agony pulsed through him. It hurt it hurt it hurt. God, it hurt so much._

_He swallowed heavily as Alec sunk back against him, eyes half-lidded. He had to try. All he could do was try._

_"Stop," came Alec's cracked voice. "You can't save me."_

_"I have to, Alec," Magnus said, trying to pretend that he didn't hear the child-like anguish in his own voice. "I have to. I can't-" He cut back a sob. "I can't live without you."_

_"You have to, Mags," Alec breathed, opening his eyes a little more as he bled out on Magnus' lap. Blood covered both of them now. Blood on Magnus' pants, his hands and arms, blood all over Alec—_

_"We've got so much left to do." Magnus tried to stop his voice catching, but he shook with all-consuming wretchedness, his heart heavy and mangled in his chest. "You have to live, Alec."_

_Alec's lips turned up just a little._

_"Love you, Magnus."_

_"No no no," Magnus said, panicked. "Don't say that, don't say that like you're going to die—"_

_Alec's blue, blue eyes rolled back in his head as his body spewed up a last spray of blood. His eyes didn't open. Magnus couldn't feel his heartbeat. He wasn't breathing._

_"Alec." Magnus gripped his hand harder, cupping his cheek in one hand. "Alexander. Alec! Alec!"_

_Magnus' cries were matched only by the tortured scream that ran through the clearing from a blonde-haired Nephilim._

_"Alec," Magnus whispered, cheeks soaked with tears. "I love you, Alec."_

***

Magnus jerked awake, gasping, dripping with sweat, his heart pounding wildly against his ribcage. He dragged his fingers through his hair, half sitting up, then sunk back against his pillow, lips parted as he sucked in ragged breaths.

It was only a dream. Alec was fine. Everything was okay. There was no war. It was all over. The engagement rings on their fingers would be wedding rings in two weeks. It was all okay.

He turned over, towards Alec's side of the bed, feeling suddenly very alone. The bed was cold. Alec was okay - most likely - but he wasn't there. He was out on patrol with the others.

Magnus swallowed, horrified to find that his cheeks were wet, and that the tears were still flowing. Just the thought of that dream becoming reality, of Alec dying so soon, of living without him— It sent a sharp, cold shiver of fear down Magnus' spine.

He tried to draw even breaths. He tried to calm his racing heart. Alec's sweater lay on the bottom on the bed from where he'd yanked it off and discarded it before he'd gone on patrol the previous evening. Magnus snatched it up and held it tightly, resting it by his face, the scent and feel reminding him wholly of Alec.

He lay on his side, Alec's sweater clutched between his hands, tense and unmoving, for what felt like hours. Terrible scenarios ran through his mind. Alec, dying in an alleyway, separated from his siblings. Alec being cut down by a demon while trying to defend one of the others. Alec facing too many demons at once, and being slaughtered alongside his siblings and friends. The warlock told himself that he was being ridiculous, again and again and again, but it didn't slow his racing heart, or ease the anxiety eating away at him.

Magnus didn't move when he heard the near-silent sound of a key sliding into the lock, and the consequent sound of Alec's soft footsteps on the floor of the hallway. He lay still, listening out for an uneven tread - a limp - or a hiss of pain, or a cry, or a mere hitching of breath.

He heard none of those things.

The door to the bedroom cracked open. Magnus' eyes were open, wide, and he watched Alec slide in, belt, boots and jacket already off. In the dim light of the room, Magnus couldn't see any injuries at all. He couldn't even smell any ichor.

Alec's eyes went straight to Magnus as he closed the door behind him, quietly, and he frowned when he took the warlock in.

"Magnus," Alec said, voice quiet. He stepped quickly towards the bed, and sunk down on the mattress, concern etched across his features. "What are you doing awake?" He reached out a hand, Magnus presumed, to brush across the warlock's cheek, but instead he found the sweater that Magnus still clutched tightly. Alec's frown deepened when Magnus didn't respond. "What's wrong?" Alec cupped his cheek in his hand, and ran a thumb across the still-damp tear-tracks. "Angel, Magnus, what on earth is going on?" Alec asked, looking astounded.

Magnus surprised even himself. He'd been completely unresponsive to Alec so far. He hadn't moved for hours. But at those words, his body surged up, his arms going to wrap tightly around Alec's neck, the sweater still held in one hand.

Alec's arms came around his waist, hesitant and sure at the same time. Alec's hands spread out against the small of his back, holding him firmly.

For several long minutes, they didn't speak. Magnus trembled, and Alec held him. Alec never let go first in those kind of hugs. Magnus loved him a little more for it.

After a while, Magnus pulled back slightly, swallowing, and lifted his eyes to Alec's worried blue ones. They kept their arms loosely around each other, until Alec took Magnus' hands in his and loosened the vice-like grip he had on his sweater. "Talk to me," Alec implored him.

Magnus closed his eyes for a moment, sucked in a deep breath, and then told him. He told Alec about the dream, about Jace begging him to help Alec, about being unable to save him, about watching him bleed out in his lap, about witnessing the life choke out of him.

"I'm right here, Magnus," Alec said softly. "I'm fine. Patrol was actually pretty boring. Not even Jace got scratched." He smiled, but Magnus found himself unable to return it.

"But what if one day you're not?" Magnus asked. "What if one day that does happen?"

Alec gave him a firm look. "One day, I _am_ going to die. You know that. It could be tomorrow, it could be in fifty years. That's the life I live."

All Magnus could say was, "I love you."

Alec's expression softened. He ran a roughened hand over Magnus' cheek, and Magnus leant into his Shadowhunter's touch, letting out a soft sigh of contentment. His eyes fluttered closed as Alec's fingers traced over the arch of his cheekbone, under his eye, along the curve of his lips.

Alec's hand lay along his cheek for a heartbeat, and then he shifted, and placed a soft, tender kiss to Magnus' forehead that had the warlock's heart aching. Nobody had ever touched him like that. Nobody had ever held him - knowing all the secrets of his past, knowing that he was vulnerable and broken beneath the glitter and the flamboyance, knowing that he craved the same comfort and care that mortals did - and made him feel so safe, so loved, so utterly at home. There had never been anybody like Alec.

Alec's lips slid slowly from his forehead to his temple, to his cheek, to his nose, to first one closed eyelid then the other, and finally, ever so gently, to his lips. His skin and heart and soul warmed simultaneously with each kiss.

Alec pulled away, one hand still on the warlock's cheek, and ran the fingers of his other hand through Magnus' hair. Magnus opened his eyes, slowly, and gazed at Alec. He couldn't describe how much he loved Alexander Lightwood.

"I love you too," Alec murmured, a soft, somewhat melancholy smile tugging at his lips. He look his fiancé's hand and kissed Magnus' knuckles, blue, blue eyes fixed on the warlock's. Magnus thought his heart might burst out of his chest—how could it hold this much love and affection? He felt tears prick the corners of his eyes, and he swallowed, before leaning forwards to capture Alec's lips with his.

For a moment, they sat on the bed, curled together, fingers entwined, Magnus' hand on Alec's neck and Alec's stroking through Magnus' hair, their lips locked together as they kissed, slowly and sweetly.

When they broke apart, Magnus nuzzled his face into Alec's neck, pushing himself further into Alec's embrace. He could feel Alec's heart pounding just as hard as his own was as the Shadowhunter tightened his arms around him. Magnus soaked up the feeling, the smell of Alec's embrace: the muscles coiled beneath soft skin, the ridges of scars and old marks, the faint scent of salt and dirt and sweat that always surrounded him when he came back from a hunt, the reassuring sensation of being held, the musky scent of sandalwood soap. He mapped it into his mind, committing everything about Alec to mind.

Because Alec was right. The dream hadn't been real, but, one day, Alec would die. In battle, from demon poison, or, if he was lucky, from old age. And when that day came - and come it would - this was all Magnus would have. Memories, photographs, mementos. Perhaps Alec's scent would linger for a while - on his clothes, on his side of the bed, on the chair in the living room he was always curling up in to read - but that, too, would fade over time.

So Magnus had to remember.

It felt like hours later that Alec shifted his grip, and pulled back to look Magnus in the eye. "Let me get out of my gear, and I'll come to bed."

Magnus released Alec with some reluctance. It must have shown on his face, because Alec squeezed his hand in reassurance before he stood up and began to strip out of his clothes.

After pulling back the sheets, Magnus slid back into bed, watching Alec's silhouette as he pulled off his trousers and then boxers, his t-shirt already discarded. The Shadowhunter mussed his hair with one hand, absently, and climbed in beside Magnus.

Magnus reached out to Alec, curling so that his head rested on Alec's chest, the steady thump-thump of Alec's heart quickly lulling him into a sense of peace and calm and safety.

Above him, Alec murmured sleepily, "It's okay, Magnus. Everything's okay."

And Magnus realised, for the first time, that sometimes Alec knew him better than he knew himself. Perhaps, given his dating history, that should have terrified him. But it didn't. This was Alec. And Alec had known that Magnus was still tense, even though Magnus hadn't known it himself.

Magnus relaxed at Alec's words, and tangled their legs together. Alec turned, only half-conscious by then (he had been out on patrol for eight hours, and it was four o'clock in the morning), onto his side, tucking Magnus into his side. One arm slid up his pillow, and the other wrapped around his warlock.

A smile of bliss crossed Magnus' face, and he looped his arm around Alec's waist, snapping his fingers quietly to pull the comforter further up around them.

For a long while, he lay in the dark, listening to Alec's heartbeat, Alec's steady breathing, the thrum of Alec's blood rushing through his veins, eyes closed against the world. All that mattered was this. Them. Loving Alec with all his being, and being loved by Alec just as fiercely.

Then, as the sun began to rise outside, exhaustion overcame him, and sleep pulled Magnus under, surrounded by the warmth and affection of Alec.


	4. Why Magnus Never Called Alec Back

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Set between Ashes and Glass, taken from the quote, "I want to know why you didn't call me back."

Alec had to see Magnus after the fight on Valentine's ship. The last he'd seen of him, Magnus had, despite having just taken his strength, looked exhausted, emitting blue light from his fingertips as he assisted with healing some of the more greatly wounded Nephilim. 

He'd wanted to stay. He kept glancing at Magnus as he waited to get onto one of the boats to get back to dry land. He wanted to talk to him. But something held him back. He couldn't. Everyone who really mattered already knew - not that he'd ever told them, but, somehow, they did - but his parents were there, members of the Clave, and he just couldn't risk it. He didn't plan on doing anything controversial - Angel, he wouldn't dare - but if Jace had realised when he tried so hard to hide it, what would the Shadowhunters around him think? 

So when he got back to land, when the fight was well and truly behind them, when the others went back to the Institute, Alec lingered, waiting for Magnus to return, until he started getting some pointed looks.

That was how he found himself at Magnus' apartment, letting himself in, and sat impatiently, distractedly, on Magnus' sofa. 

It felt like a very long while later that the door opened, quietly, and shut with even less enthusiasm.

Alec stood up - well, stumbled up was probably a more apt description, as he bashed his shins on the coffee table in his haste and then nearly tripped over Chairman Meow. Magnus' shoulders were drooping, his eyes downcast, looking drained and just a little miserable. 

His head snapped up when he saw Alec, and his cat eyes widened and darkened infinitesimally. Alec couldn't tell whether it was from anger or surprise or both. Magnus didn't move. He didn't speak, either: just looked at Alec.

Alec shifted. "I'm sorry," he apologised. "I just- I wanted to see you. I can go, if you want me to."

Magnus' expression softened. "I don't want that."

"Thank you," Alec said, remembering the thing he'd most desperately needed to say to the warlock. "For saving my life. Again. I wasn't very kind to you, when I woke up."

For a moment, Magnus just looked at him. Then he said, "Alec, what you did... That was one of the most incredible things I have ever seen a Shadowhunter do for a Downworlder."

His cheeks flushed just a little at Magnus' intense gaze, then looked down and sighed. "I'm sorry."

Magnus took half a step forwards, lifted his arm, and brushed his fingers over Alec's cheek. It was such a gentle touch, so fleeting, and yet so full of meaning. It made Alec's heart thump every time Magnus touched him like that. "What for?"

"Everything. For- for not being able to say what I mean. For making you jump after me when you don't like water—"

"I chose to do that, Alec. Like I said, I don't do you favours."

Alec's throat closed up, in exactly the same way it had when Magnus had said that earlier. Why do you think I do things for you, Alec? "And I know you were annoyed with me for denying everything about us."

At that, Magnus' expression was just a touch harder. "I was," he admitted.

"I didn't– I just didn't want Jace to know. I was worried about how he'd react, and what he'd say about me being—"

Magnus dropped his hand, eyes flashing dangerously. He levelled Alec with a cold look that cut off his words. "No," he said, "you weren't. You were afraid of how he'd react, but not because you thought he'd be a homophobe. You were afraid because if you told him, and he didn't react badly, it would be all the confirmation you'd need to confirm that he does not harbour anything more than brotherly love for you."

Alec felt like Magnus had opened up a hole in his body through which his stomach and heart had just dropped. He stared at the warlock, stricken. It wasn't the first time Magnus had told him that he knew about Alec's feelings for Jace, and it wasn't the first time that Alec had had an inkling about it bothering him, but this was a whole knew level of quiet rage and icy indignation. 

"I—"

"He will never love you," Magnus said, enunciating each word. "Not in the same way you think you love him. The sooner you realise that, the happier you'll be."

Alec, for the first time, wanted to snap at Magnus. So he did. "I know. I'm not stupid." He ground his teeth together. 

"Good," Magnus said, lips still pressed together firmly, "because if his reaction when you all but confirmed our relationship to him should have been a big enough clue."

Alec exhaled shakily. He knew that Jace didn't love him that way. He knew that. And, whatever he'd been kidding himself into believing, he'd known that for a long time. But that didn't mean he could get over him at the snap of Magnus' fingers. 

"Also," Magnus said, "the sooner you realise you're not really in love with him, the better you'll feel."

Alec stared at him. "Excuse me?"

Magnus, all of a sudden, looked very weary. "I'm not in the mood for this conversation, Alec." He smiled a little sadly. "I'm going to take a shower. I stink of river water."

"Wait." Alec grabbed his sleeve, holding the warlock in place. Their faces were close, and Alec took the chance to study him. Free of make-up, skin paler than usual but just as beautiful, cat-eyes tired but bright, fixed on his own blue ones. 

Alec swallowed, then tipped his head up and kissed Magnus. He wound his arms around Magnus' neck, pulling Magnus close. Magnus made a surprised noise in the back of his throat when Alec's kiss became hungry and hot, but kissed him back just as eagerly, his movements a little sloppier than usual due to fatigue. 

Alec pulled back after a moment, breathing hard. He wasn't sure whether he was trying to prove his point to Magnus or to himself, or maybe to both. Nor was he quite sure what his point was, or whether Magnus had understood. 

"I'll call you," Alec said, disentangling himself. 

One corner of Magnus' lips twitched up. "Goodbye, Alexander."

Alec smiled. "Bye, Magnus."

And Alec did call Magnus. Magnus, however, never called back. 

So, when he met Magnus in that godforsaken alleyway in Idris, he had a question whirling around his head that he simply couldn't let go of.


	5. Insecurities

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Alec struggles with being insecure. Magnus proves to him that he's beautiful.

Alec struggled with being insecure. He struggled with loving his body. He struggled with loving himself. He struggled with loving who he was, what he stood for, and how he was. 

And, maybe, those struggles regarding himself were the real reasons that he found it so difficult to accept Magnus' affection - let alone love - for him. 

Alec wasn't one of those people who hated himself. He didn't. He didn't hate his body, or how he fought, or even his sexuality. He didn't hate any of it. But it all disappointed him. He compared himself to others: Izzy, Jace—Angel, he even compared himself to Max.

So how could someone as beautiful and glittering and fabulous as Magnus Bane possibly feel anything for him? 

The wink, the call me, had stunned Alec enough. The fact that Magnus had saved his life, for free, shocked him no end. Then Magnus had kissed him, and that just threw Alec even more. So he'd hedged his bets. He'd asked Magnus out. 

And, even more astoundingly, Magnus had said yes. Sure, it ended up being disastrous, but, somehow, the whole thing had worked out.

Magnus, Alec had realised, was good for him. Magnus made him feel more at peace with himself. Angel knew Magnus also gave Alec a complex about just what the hell he was doing, sneaking around with a warlock - a Downworlder, and a male one at that - but Magnus made Alec feel like he mattered, like he was special, and like he was worth it. 

And, through their period of not talking before the Lightwoods went to Idris to fight Valentine, through Alec's inability to let go of Jace, through Alec's battles against himself, somehow, Magnus ended up in Alec's bedroom, suggesting they travel, get away from things for a while, enjoy themselves.

And Alec had agreed.

For a while, their trip was beautiful. For a while, everything was perfect.

That was, until Alec had half his clothes off, Magnus in a similar state, and had a minor panic attack. 

Well. Panic attack was, possibly, an exaggeration. But he froze, mind whirring, suddenly feeling exceptionally insecure and inferior in comparison to the great Magnus Bane, centuries old with centuries of experience and physically flawless. 

What in the world could Magnus possibly see in him?

Magnus placed a hand on Alec's cheek, pulling away from where he'd been devouring the Shadowhunter's lips, and searched his expression. "What's wrong?" he asked, voice soft.

Alec exhaled shakily. "Nothing. I'm fine."

Magnus still looked concerned, and very unconvinced. "Are you sure?"

"Yeah." He looked away from the warlock's gaze, swallowing. It was stupid. His insecurities were stupid. He was in bed with Magnus, barely clothed, and Magnus' intention was quite obviously to have sex with him. Besides, it had been physical attraction that had drawn Magnus to him in the first place.

Yet, Alec trusted that Magnus truly did love him as a person. Illogically, ludicrously, Alec didn't have anywhere near as much trouble believing that as he did believing that Magnus wanted him physically. Maybe that was because he'd realised, more recently, that Magnus could be vulnerable and imperfect emotionally, too. 

But physically, they were so different. He was so out of Magnus' league in every way. He was eighteen years old and layered with scar upon scar. Magnus was centuries old, and his body (at least, what Alec had seen of it) was unblemished with such rough and ragged imperfections. 

Magnus leant forwards to kiss him again, but stopped before their lips met. He pulled back, frowning. "Alec. If you want to stop, tell me. Don't ever feel obliged to—"

"I want to do this," Alec told him, truthfully. "I do. I'm just nervous."

Magnus ran the pad of his thumb over his cheekbone. "About what?"

Angel, Alec could list any number of things. Finishing too early. Screwing everything up. Doing something completely wrong. Saying something stupid. Turning Magnus off. His body. 

"Just...in general," was all he said. Listing off his insecurities, his worries, would be a turn-off for Magnus in itself. He wasn't a child. He could deal with it.

Magnus' brow only furrowed further. "Being a little bit nervous is normal. But I promise, you don't need to be. I'll take care of you."

Alec tried to smile. Really, despite his flippant attitude to everyone else - and to Alec - he could be exceptionally kind and gentle and downright sappy when he wanted to be. "I trust you."

This time, it was Alec who kissed Magnus. He gripped at the warlock's hair, evoking a moan from Magnus when he nipped on his lip. He dragged his lips over the line of Magnus' jaw and down the smooth, honey-brown column of his throat. His eyelashes tickled along the sensitive skin, and he felt Magnus arch against him, pressing their bodies closer together. The springs of the bed squeaked, and Alec opened his eyes, pulling his lips away from Magnus.

Above him, the warlock's eyes were smouldering. "You," he said, "are driving me mad."

Magnus pressed kiss-swollen lips to the corner of his mouth, teasingly, and trailed soft, hot kisses to behind his ear, before descending down his neck, just like Alec had done to him.

Alec stiffened. He couldn't help it. His mind was already comparing how soft Magnus' skin had felt beneath his lips. But he had scars on his neck - a few from battle, most from old runes. Scars weren't an attractive thing to be kissing.

Once again, Magnus pulled away, looking a little frustrated this time. But his voice was gentle when he spoke, and he leant his forehead against Alec's. "Listen to me," he said, warm breath caressing Alec's lips. "I didn't suggest we go on vacation just to get into your pants. If that were all I wanted from you, I wouldn't bother with all this. So whatever is going through your mind, whatever you think I want, it's not true. I don't want to do this if you don't. And I would much rather you tell me."

Alec closed his eyes, his heart aching. Angel, why did Magnus have to be so observant? Sure, he hadn't quite understood Alec's hesitation, but he'd picked up on it. And he was willing and ready to talk about it, to reassure him. 

"It's not that," Alec murmured. 

"Then what?" Magnus was still braced over him, but Alec felt him reach out and intertwine their fingers. "You can tell me."

"I know." Alec didn't open his eyes, although he knew he probably should have. He couldn't look Magnus in the eye. "I want to do this. Really, I do. I'm just— I'm— nervous." 

Magnus, bless him, didn't point out that Alec had already said that. He just said, "You're safe. And I will take care of you. You don't need to worry about a thing."

Alec screwed his eyes tighter shut. "I know. I know. But I just—" He sighed in annoyance. "You're so– You're you. And I'm me. And we're so completely different. Physically."

Magnus stroked his fingers through his hair absent-mindedly. "I don't understand."

Finally, Alec opened his eyes. "You're flawless. You're cool and put-together and sophisticated and physically perfect. I'm not. I'm exactly the opposite."

Realisation dawned in Magnus' eyes. He laughed a little. "Oh, Alexander. That's not true at all. I promise, I'm not cool and put-together." He took Alec's hand, and placed it over his chest. It took Alec a moment to register Magnus' racing, pounding heart hammering away against his chest. "See? I'm just as worked up as you are. And, if I'm being honest, I'm nervous too. I don't want to mess anything up either." 

Alec stared at Magnus in wonder. He'd never seen Magnus put his heart on his sleeve like that before.

"And regarding our physical differences, need I remind you that I'm the offspring of a demon?" Magnus' lips twisted. "Most of your people would say that I'm a demon taking advantage of an angel."

Alec flinched. "No. Don't say that, Magnus. That's not true. I don't think that."

"I know," Magnus assured him. "I know."

They were silent for a beat, before Alec decided to be honest. He brought Magnus' hand to his collarbone, and brushed his fingers over a scar, then other of his neck, on his shoulder, on his torso, waiting, hoping, that Magnus would understand without him having to vocalise his insecurities.

Magnus smiled at him, a little sadly. "They make you who you are. They're marks of strength and endurance."

Alec didn't want to sound like a whiny teenager, so he didn't say anything. I hate them. I hate the reminder. I hate everything they stand for - the Clave and the way I fight and the way my people look at me and the superiority complex of my race.

Magnus fluttered his lips over a scar on Alec's neck. "You're beautiful," he murmured, tracing the faded rune with his tongue. Alec shivered. "Your scars are beautiful." He moved to another scar. "They don't make you less than me, or anyone else." Magnus kissed over his left pectoral muscle. "I love you." His lips dragged across to Alec's shoulders, one them the other, then down his ribs, paying attention to each scar he found. "And nobody should make you feel unworthy." He halted at the line of Alec's boxers, lips brushing back and forth across his skin, making Alec's muscles jump. "Not ever. You're beautiful, Alexander Lightwood. In every way."

And Alec believed him.


	6. Don't Worry, I'm Breaking Up With Her

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Alec works in a jewellery shop. Magnus is in a downhill relationship with Camille. They both think the other is hot.

Prompt: Why the fuck are you buying that for your crush AU

***

The first time Alec saw him, he looked nervous as hell. Alec felt a little sorry for him. He was beautiful, decked out in dark skinny jeans that did everything for his ass and a fitted green shirt that really brought out his eyes, and his make-up would have made Alec's sister jealous.

He kept chewing on his lower lip as he looked around the jewellery shop, completely oblivious to Alec, standing behind the counter, shamelessly checking him out. Alec considered going over and doing the horrible employee thing of offering him some assistance. Maybe he'd summon the courage to get his name. Or ask him out. 

But the guy had chosen something—a necklace that spoke volumes of romance and nervous adoration and was unimaginably expensive. Goddamn, either this guy was loaded or completely smitten. Or, possibly, dating a woman who demanded expensive things. (Alec wasn't being sexist—the necklace was in the section of female-intended jewellery.)

The guy smiled bashfully as he handed it over to Alec.

Alec plastered a smile on his face. "Would you like a box?"

"Yes, please," he said. Crap, even his voice was sexy. How was that possible? How could a voice be sexy?

And dammit, why did Alec always notice guys who were either straight or unavailable? This guy was probably both. Not that Alec had any way of guessing the former—he lacked any kind of intuition regarding people's sexuality. Unfortunately. 

"Is it a gift?" Alec asked conversationally as he boxed up the necklace and rang up the price. 

The guy pulled out a credit card. "Yeah. For my girlfriend. We've been going out a month. She wants to celebrate, so..." He shrugged. "I wanted to get her something nice. Sapphires are her birth stone."

Sexy and romantic and thoughtful. Damn him.

The guy paid. "Thanks," he said. 

Alec totally didn't stare at his ass as he walked out of the shop. 

***

The next time Alec saw him, he was in an exceptionally bad mood. His sister had tried to set him up on a blind date, and the guy, Sebastian, had not only been smarmy, but a complete douchebag who'd tried, not very subtly, to grope Alec under the table at the restaurant, and had then proceeded to explain that he didn't have any money and would Alec mind very much if he paid for all six of Sebastian's exceptionally-expensive glasses of wine. 

Yes. Alec did mind. But he paid anyway, because he didn't want to cause a scene. 

So when he arrived at work the following morning to find that he had to do a double shift because his coworker, Jace, had called in sick (sick his ass), Alec considered throwing himself in front of a passing cab. 

But then the same man as a few weeks ago walked through the door in glittery boots and another pair of skinny jeans, hair spiked up, streaked with blue highlights. Alec's breath totally didn't catch when the guy smiled at him, as though he remembered him from his last venture into the shop. God, those eyes...

Green-Eyes looked happy. Happy, relaxed, and in love. He looked like a man without all the problems Alec had. His homophobic parents, whom he only ever saw at Christmas and who spent the entire holiday making snide comments about his sexuality. His little brother, Max, who'd just been diagnosed with leukaemia and who he wasn't allowed to see in case his 'problem' rubbed off on Max. His sister, who was constantly on his case about his lack of a love life and who kept setting him up on disastrous dates and encouraging him to ask out just about every guy they passed when they went out to do something together. 

When Green-Eyes came up to the counter this time, he had a locket dangling between his fingers. It wasn't quite so extortionately expensive last time, but it wasn't far off.

Alec summoned a cheerful smile, though it felt forced. "Did your girlfriend like the necklace?" he asked as he rung up the price.

Green-Eyes looked surprised. "I'm impressed. How many customers do you serve every day?"

Alec shrugged, a little embarrassed. "I have a good memory for faces." Especially ones as gorgeous and unattainable as yours. 

"It went over pretty well," Green-Eyes said with a fond smile that wasn't for Alec. "Thanks for asking."

"Have a nice day," Alec said as he handed him his change and his purchase. 

He grinned wickedly. "Oh, you bet I will."

Alec couldn't help feeling mildly nauseous. 

***

Alec didn't see Green-Eyes for two months after that. He didn't spend the time pining after him (honestly, he barely thought about him), but his heart thumped once when he stepped through the door. He was in the middle of helping an elderly lady pick out something for her granddaughter's wedding present, and stumbled over his words as he caught Green-Eyes' gaze.

Holy shit. He looked even more gorgeous than usual. And Green-Eyes totally didn't hide a grin. And if he did, it couldn't possibly be because of Alec's humiliation. 

By the time Green-Eyes had found what he wanted, Alec had had time to compose himself. This time it was a ring with 'You & I' engraved on the inside. Alec felt a little surge of jealousy. Not specifically at Green-Eyes' girlfriend, but at everyone and anyone who had somebody like this guy. Someone who loved them. Somebody to share romance with.

"I hope it fits," Green-Eyes said, sighing. "I don't know her size."

"If it doesn't, you can get it altered. It's not expensive here."

Green-Eyes flashed him a grateful smile that definitely didn't made Alec's stomach flip. "Thank you." He paused. "Alexander, right?"

"Alec," Alec said, nodding. His name tag had Alexander on it, but he wasn't wearing it today. He felt both embarrassed and flattered that Green-Eyes remembered it. 

"Magnus," he said, holding out a hand for Alec to shake over the counter. 

Alec shook it. "Is that everything you want?"

Magnus cocked his head slightly to once side, studying Alec closely. "Actually, no. I'm aware that this is completely unprofessional, but I'm not a very professional person."

Alec stared at him. "Okay..."

"What I'd really like is a smile."

Alec stared for a little bit longer. Then he burst out laughing. Magnus grinned at him, completely unabashed as he paid. Alec controlled himself, shoulders still shaking, and handed Magnus the box. 

"You looked like you needed cheering up," Magnus told him. "Nobody should look that sad."

With that, Magnus walked out, leaving Alec shocked, frozen to the spot. 

***

In the time before Magnus' next visit, Alec did think about him. A lot. He wondered how a stranger had seen straight through his happy façade when his own sister, his friends, his coworkers, didn't. 

When Magnus stepped through the door, Alec immediately noticed that he was different. He looked tired: dark bags underneath his eyes, hair not so perfectly-styled as usual, t-shirt just a little creased. 

Magnus looked miserable. There was no other way to describe it. He barely spoke to Alec as he placed a bracelet on the counter that seemed nothing like any of the jewellery he'd bought before. More mature, less showy. 

Magnus must have caught Alec's look, because he said, "It's for my friend." 

Alec smiled at him, wanting to get a happier look into his eyes. "It's lovely."

Magnus murmured a quiet, "Thank you," and then walked out. 

***

Alec would have been lying if he claimed that he wasn't distracted. He'd have been lying if he said that he wasn't checking out a customer. He'd have been lying if he said that he wasn't staring at said customer's ass.

The customer, of course, was Magnus. Magnus was bent over a cabinet, arms folded on it, scanning the rows of jewellery intently. Three weeks since Alec had last seen him, and he seemed to be a thousand times happier than he had been before, though, admittedly, he still looked tired.

But he had a really nice ass.

He looked devious. There was no other way to describe it. He was browsing around the section that people usually looked in when they had a budget of about thirty dollars, or when they were buying for their great-great-aunt, for whom they didn't want to spend much money on (and who would settle for about anything). 

When he brought his item up to the counter, Alec nearly choked. It had to be one of the most revolting pieces of jewellery Alec had ever seen. Fake gold that looked more bronze than gold, the corner slightly chipped, and fake plastic rubies that screamed gaudy and cheap. 

Magnus grinned at Alec, and placed the item on the counter. Alec had to presume that this was some kind of joke. Magnus always bought tasteful jewellery. This was not tasteful at all.

Alec couldn't stop himself asking, "Who on earth are you buying this for?"

He flushed when he realised what he'd said. That wasn't appropriate. Or polite. In fact, it was incredibly rude, and Magnus was probably—

Magnus was smirking. He looked victorious. "My girlfriend."

Alec stared at him. "Your girlfriend?" The same girlfriend you must have spent five thousand dollars on in the last few months?

"Don't worry," Magnus said, still grinning, "I'm breaking up with her."

Alec choked out a laugh. "I'm guessing you don't want a box."

"You're guessing right. Bitch doesn't deserve it. Don't waste your resources on her."

Alec was desperate to ask Magnus what had happened, but he was a customer, and there was a queue. A small queue, admittedly, but a queue nonetheless. And his coworker, Clary, was watching him from the other side of the shop.

"Good luck," Alec said, smiling.

Magnus regarded him for a moment. "Smile more."

With that, he left the counter. He paused at the door, turned his head, and winked at Alec, leaving Alec choking and red-faced.

***

Alec was shocked to find Magnus hovering outside the shop at closing time the following day. He'd just locked up, and Magnus was standing outside, arms folded, looking at his phone.

Alec hesitated for only a moment, before he said, "Magnus?"

Magnus smiled brightly. "Alec. Hello."

"What're you doing here? Did you want to buy something?"

"Yes."

Alec glanced at his watch. It was only ten minutes after the shop should have closed. He could make an exception. "Well, I can—"

Magnus shoved his phone in his back pocket, smiling. "Not here."

Alec raised his eyebrows, confused. "Um, okay?" He decided to drop the subject. "How did it go? With your girlfriend?"

Magnus snorted. "Camille? She's history. I wish her luck with her new boy-toy."

"You look happier," Alec noted.

"You don't," Magnus replied. 

Alec shrugged. "I'm fine."

"No, you're not. But you barely know me, so I won't ask. Not yet."

Magnus took half a step closer. He was just an inch or so taller than Alec. The height difference didn't notice until they were close. It was the first time Alec had faced Magnus without a counter in between them.

"But back to what I wanted to buy," Magnus said. "What would you say if I told you I totally, one hundred percent waited out here like a stalker for you so that I could buy you a coffee and chat to you in the shop over there?" Magnus pointed a little way down the road.

Alec was gob-smacked for a second. "You— You— What?"

Magnus smiled. "I'd like to buy you a coffee."

"Are you- are you asking me out?"

"That is the general idea. And before you ask, no, you're not a rebound."

A grin broke across Alec's face. "Yes. I'd say yes."

"Are you free now?"

Alec nodded.

Magnus mirrored his grin. "Perfect. Come on." He started walking, then turned back and looked at Alec. "By the way," he said, "I was aware of you checking me out yesterday. But I've been checking you out for the last ten minutes, so we're even." He flashed Alec another smile, then turned around.

Alec couldn't wipe the goofy grin off his face for the rest of the day.


	7. #YOLO

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Magnus and Alec meet in a library and make-out.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Library AU, because why not?

Alec didn't appreciate being interrupted when he was in the library. He didn't like it when it was his sister, calling to shriek excitedly about something or demand an explanation for something entirely inconsequential, and he didn't like it when it was his best friend calling to complain because Clary Fray still hadn't said yes to his many pleas for a date.

Alec, if he ever met Clary, would high five her.

(He did meet her. They high-fived. Jace got jealous when Clary told him that Alec was more fun than him. It was the first time anybody had ever said that, and it made Alec feel a little fondness for the red-headed girl.)

Alec especially didn't like being interrupted by obnoxious morons who thought it was a good ideas to run through the place, screeching like children. He scowled at the two passing girls as one knocked a book from his hand.

With a sigh, he bent down to pick it up, before straightening out and turning to sit down at a table and get some work done. Yes, he read recreationally, but he liked doing his work in the library, too. College parties going on in the rooms next to his were the bane of his life.

He glanced up when he heard a muffled curse a few feet in front of him. Just where he'd been standing before, a tall, skinny man with honey-brown skin and spiked, gelled-up hair had just been knocked into by the same two idiotic girls, and had consequently spilt coffee all over the floor.

Alec didn't class himself as a Good Samaritan. But, spilt coffee would incur the wrath of the librarian, and, as it wasn't the guy's fault, Alec felt obliged to give him a hand. (It had nothing to do with the back that Alec was admiring the graceful arch of his neck and the attractive profile of his face.)

"Thank you so much," the guy said, shooting Alec a wide smile as he dropped down beside him with a wad of paper towels from the table that held bottles of water and protein bars.

"No problem," Alec replied, sounding much more nonchalant than he felt. Because God, those eyes... And how could a voice be sexy? How was that possible?

Over the next fifteen minutes, Alec found out that the guy's name was Magnus Bane, that he was majoring in fashion design (Alec wasn't surprised) and then they failed to get off the topic of books.

The third time a scream (Alec couldn't tell whether it was a scream of joy or agonising pain) sounded through the library, they both winced. Magnus' lips curved up ( _and holy shit he's gorgeous_ ) and he watched Alec for a moment.

"You know what?" Magnus asked, still smiling.

"What?"

"You only live once, right?"

Alec frowned at him. "Well, I'd say so, but— Mmph!"

Magnus had surged forwards and covered Alec's lips with his. For a moment, Alec stood there, stunned, before he registered the fact that a gorgeous, gorgeous man with whom he had things in common and who was also funny was kissing him, and he wrapped his arms around Magnus' waist, pulling him closer and kissing him back.

Magnus pulled back when Alec let out a soft moan, and they both laughed, foreheads pressed together, warm breaths mingling. Magnus brushed a strand of hair away from Alec's face, and Alec noticed the two rings in Magnus' right earlobe. An image came to mind, of him tugging gently on those rings with his teeth, licking over them and then tracing up the curve of Magnus' ear—

"That was new," Alec breathed, cutting off that train of thought. "And reckless."

Magnus grinned wider. "YOLO."

Alec cringed. "If you want to get a date from making out with me in the library, never say that to me again."

Magnus laughed, his voice husky, and leant forward to kiss Alec again, briefly. "Can I have your number?"

Alec huffed humorously. "I met you twenty minutes ago." He paused then a smile stole across his face. "Sure." Feeling bold, he added, "My phone's in my back pocket."

That was the first of many times Magnus pressed Alec up against the wall and slid his hand into his back pocket. It was the first of many times it made Alec go crazy. And it was the first of many times they ended up having sex in weird and wonderful places. (Alec would never look at the little study rooms in the back of the library in the same way again.)

(He wouldn't regret it, either.)


	8. The Reason I Love Him

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Magnus thinks about all the reasons he loves Alec, and they share an emotional moment on the Brooklyn Bridge. (There is kissing.)

There were many, many reasons Magnus Bane loved Alexander Lightwood.

He could spend days and hours and months thinking of a whole list of reasons, and then still find ten the next day that he'd neglected to mention.

Alec's appearance had been what first attracted Magnus to him. That combination of black hair and blue eyes had done him in from the very start. His porcelain skin, tall frame, and he couldn't deny that the appearance of Alec's abs during their first date hadn't hindered the process.

But, though Magnus thought Alec the most beautiful person on the planet, he hadn't fallen in love with Alec's good looks.

He'd fallen in love with _Alec_. The way he ducked his head to hide a smile, the huge heart he wore on his sleeve, his ability to see through Magnus' flamboyant pretences. His determination to protect those he loved, the emotions that swirled in his blue eyes, the little expressions on his face that spoke a million words. His obsessive need to wear clothes filled with holes, his desire for black coffee every morning, his perfectly-honed archery skills.

And then there was the thing that made Magnus' heart swell, each and every time.

Alec's unparalleled understanding of Magnus.

Alec seemed to be able to understand what Magnus was feeling. He knew, maybe intuitively or maybe because they knew each other like Magnus had never allowed anyone to know him before, when Magnus needed silence, when he needed to talk, when he needed space, when he needed gentle encouragement. He knew when he needed to be wrapped in a hug, and when he needed to be made to forget everything and anything.

So, as they walked along the Brooklyn Bridge, hand-in-hand, Magnus appreciated Alec's silence. They stood close, fingers twined and arms brushing, but they didn't say anything. It was nighttime, lights shining from across the city all around them, and a cool summer breeze blew across them. Magnus could hear music floating through the air from the restaurant they'd just left.

A soft, overwhelming sense of sentimentality flowed through him. He stopped walking, and headed over to the edge of the bridge, leaning his free arm across the railing. Alec joined him. While Magnus stared out across the glistening water below, taking in the beauty, the romance, of the city, Alec watched Magnus. Magnus couldn't see his expression, for he was too enraptured by the picture painted before him, but Alec's face held all love and affection.

Magnus shifted a little, standing on one hip, and leant his head on Alec's shoulder. Alec's arm came around his waist, and Magnus reached out a hand, lacing their fingers together when Alec grasped it.

They didn't look at each other, though the warmth coming from his boyfriend was all-encompassing. They didn't speak, though Magnus knew all too well that every single one of his past lovers would have broken the silence by now.

Alec knew him. Maybe he didn't know why (although Magnus suspected he did) but Alec understood that Magnus needed this, wanted the quiet beauty of it all in the middle of a stressful, tiring life.

And Magnus was so, so happy that he got to share it with him.

Alec's hair brushed across Magnus' forehead as the Shadowhunter pressed his lips to Magnus' temple. It wasn't to get Magnus' attention, the warlock knew, it was a basic need to express the all-consuming love swirling between them, heightened by the moment. Magnus nestled a little closer to Alec, heart aching and shattering and healing in his chest, all at once.

Magnus didn't know how long they stood there for. He just looked out, watching the world carry on below them, Alec around him, and found the ultimate comfort in Alexander Lightwood.

A slight shiver ran down Magnus' spine, and goosebumps rose across his bare arms. Alec shifted his grip and chafed a warm hand up and down Magnus' arm.

Magnus closed his eyes. He wanted to live in the moment forever. The stillness, the calm, the romance, the security, all wound into one perfect setting with a man who understood him like nobody ever had before.

Everybody had their demons. Magnus knew Alec's. Alec knew Magnus'. And they loved each other regardless— No. They loved each other more for it.

When Magnus opened his eyes, he looked up at Alec, who was gazing at him with a soft smile on his lips, as though Magnus made him feel such emotion that there was no real way to express it.

"Home?" Magnus asked softly, unable to look away from Alec's eyes. Yes, they were beautiful - so beautiful - but Magnus' fascination went deeper than that. Even in the beginning, at Magnus' party when they'd first met, Magnus had read more from Alec's eyes, from his facial expressions when he thought nobody was watching him, than he did from his body posture or from what he said.

Alec's chest rose and fell steadily as he looked down at Magnus, who'd turned so that his chin rested on the Nephilim's shoulder. "Home," he said. He lifted their joined hands and pressed his lips to Magnus' knuckles. It broke Magnus' heart just a little more every time he did that.

Neither of them moved. Magnus didn't straighten up, and Alec held their joined hands to his chest, running his fingers over Magnus' cooler ones absent-mindedly, their gazes locked.

Alec dipped his head and caught Magnus' lips in the sweetest, softest kiss Magnus could imagine. His heart pounded at the emotions flooding through him, and he could feel the reassuring thump of Alec's heartbeat under his fingers, quickening in just the same way.

"Alec," Magnus murmured, nosing against Alec's neck.

Alec pulled him close, both arms threading around him. "Magnus."

Magnus swallowed, and kissed Alec's throat. "I love you. So much."

Alec ran a hand through Magnus' hair (lose, for once) and said, "I know. I love you, Magnus. With all my heart."

Confessions like that from Alec made Magnus want to hold him and never let him go. But he pulled away, finally straightening up so that they were back to their usual height arrangement. But he couldn't stop staring, searching Alec's face for a hint that this, these past few years, had all been an illusion.

But he was still there, solid and flawed yet perfect as ever.

Alec smiled at him, and tugged his hand gently. "Come on."

Yes. That was the real reason Magnus Bane loved Alec Lightwood. Because Alec understood him, had always understood him, and would understand him forevermore.

And Magnus was content.


	9. They Won't Leave Me Alone

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Post CoG. Alec gets sick, runs away from his siblings, and curls up with Magnus instead.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Prompt from Lunatic19 -- thank you for the suggestion!!

Alec groaned out loud when the door to his bedroom opened for what had to be the third time in the last hour, and his sister poked her head around the door. He curled up tighter under the comforter, facing determinedly away from her, and screwed his eyes shut, feigning sleep. 

"Alec?" She walked into the room. "I know you're awake. I brought you soup, and..."

Alec tuned out the rest of what she said. Angel knew he loved Isabelle, but sometimes, he just wanted to be left alone. And when he had a pounding headache, a searing throat, and felt nauseous, he definitely didn't want to be disturbed to have her try to persuade him to stomach her soup. She meant well, but Alec wanted to sleep, and feel sorry for himself, and feel anger at the world. He was a Shadowhunter. He hardly ever got sick. Why was he sick now?

Alec rolled over, and shot Izzy a tired glare. "Please just leave me alone, Iz." His voice was croaky, and he winced as he spoke.

Izzy shot him a look of disapproval, hands on her hips. "I'm trying to look after you. Stop being so stubborn."

"Isabelle."

She huffed. "Fine. I'll leave you to your misery."

***

Sadly, two hours later, Alec had been bothered by Jace (twice) and Izzy had taken it upon herself to nag him for ten minutes flat until she wore him down so much that he submitted to eating her soup. He couldn't tell whether it tasted vile because she'd made it, or because he was sick, and being sick always made food taste gross. 

Sleep was evading him. He turned over, shivering even though he was in a sweater and under a comforter (admittedly, a thin one) and grabbed his cell phone from the table by his bed. The screen lit up, the background showing him a picture of Magnus, laughing, head thrown back and his eyes shining. It made Alec's heart ache and his lips curve up. 

He was hit by the intense need to be with Magnus: to hear his voice, to smell that burnt-sugar scent of magic that always clung to him, to feel the warmth of his touch. 

So Alec climbed out of bed, pulled on a thicker pair of sweatpants, and tugged on his boots. He picked up a seraph blade and his stele just in case, then, careful to avoid either of his siblings, he crept out of the Institute. 

***

Magnus wasn't in when he got to the warlock's apartment. But it still smelt like him, and Chairman Meow slunk over to his, winding around his ankles in a figure of eight, demanding attention. Alec smiled to himself, and bent to run his fingers through the cat's fur, petting his ears and the top of his head. 

He really, really just wanted to curl up in Magnus' arms and go to sleep. But Magnus wasn't there. So instead, he padded towards the couch, not wanting to sleep in Magnus' bed when he wasn't there, and sunk into it, letting out a soft sigh of relief. A thick blanket had been thrown carelessly over the arm of a chair; Alec picked it up and stretched out along the sofa, resting his head on one of the cushions, pulling the blanket to his chest to combat the shivers wracking through his body.

He didn't plan on staying for long. He didn't even plan on falling asleep, though he felt exhausted. But he was comfortable, and surrounded by the smell of his boyfriend, and sleep pulled him under.

***

Magnus was in a foul mood when he reached his loft. His client - a vampire who gave Raphael a run for his money in the humourless department - had been rude and unpleasant and more interested in his relationship with 'the Lightwood child' than was appropriate. Besides which, Alec was not a child.

It didn't help that he hadn't seen Alec for two days, and wouldn't until tomorrow. Alec had wanted to spend time with Isabelle and Jace after Max's death, which Magnus understood and respected. That didn't mean he had to like it. 

His mood didn't improve when he saw that the door to his apartment was open slightly. God, he wasn't in the mood for this. Whoever had broken in had better run. Fast. And if they spoke, they'd leave without their limbs. Or maybe as a frog. 

He shoved the door open, scowling. "Whoever you are," he said, "you have approximately ten seconds to run away before I turn you into something vile."

He waited for a moment, before his expression darkened. He slammed the door shut behind him, sparks leaping between his fingers, and stalked towards the living room. The first thing he noticed was that his very warm, very soft, very comfortable blanket had been moved from where he'd left it. He liked that blanket. He was partial to snuggling under it with Alec, and if it had been taken, so help him...

He stepped further into the room. His gaze fixed on the groggy form on the couch, and his eyes widened. Was he imagining things? Had his Alec-withdrawal become so bad that he was imagining him, now?

"Magnus?" Alec croaked out, voice scratchy as he lifted a hand to rub at his eyes. 

No. He was there, curled up on the couch with Magnus' favourite blanket, adorably rumpled. He looked pale, exhausted, and a little cold, despite the various layers around him. 

But he was there.

"Alexander!" A wide smile broke across Magnus' face. "What are you doing here? I thought you were staying at the Institute?"

Alec moaned softly, and flopped back, throwing an arm across his face. "I was," he said, voice muffled and throat raw. "They wouldn't leave me alone."

Magnus stared at him, mystified. He perched himself on the arm of the sofa beside Alec's head, and ran his fingers through Alec's hair tenderly. "What do you mean?"

"Izzy. Jace. I just wanted to sleep. Izzy kept trying to mother me, and Jace was being annoying. I just—" He stopped, coughing roughly, before saying, "I just wanted to be with you. I hate being sick."

Fondness shot through Magnus. "You're welcome here, Alec. You know that. Do you want anything?"

"You," Alec murmured, eyelids drooping again. 

"I'm right here," Magnus told him. But he lifted Alec's head and shoulders up, slid onto the couch, and Alec rested his head on Magnus' thighs, letting out a soft sigh of contentment. Magnus put his feet up on the coffee table, and drew the blanket around Alec again. 

"Magnus?" Alec whispered.

"Yes?"

"Thank you."

Magnus stroked a hand through his hair. "I love you."

But Alec didn't reply. He'd already fallen asleep.


	10. Reunion

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which Alec and the Chairman bond over missing Magnus, Alec falls asleep, and Magnus dares to call a Shadowhunter adorable.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is silly and fluffy and makes me cringe. Please enjoy.

Alec sighed softly as he walked through the door, surveying the empty apartment yet again. It depressed him every time he came home. It was still filled with the signs of Magnus - his décor, his clothing, his music and his TV programs recorded on the box - but it was missing him.

It made Alec feel exceedingly lonely.

He dropped his gaze as a pitiful meow was let out from below him. The Chairman looked up at him with mournful wide eyes, looking nearly as despondent as Alec felt.

"You miss him too, huh?" Alec asked with a sad smile, reaching down to stroke the tabby's head. The Chairman purred, nuzzling into Alec's hand, curling his tail around his ankle. "Two more days. We can make it through two more days. And I need to think of something nice to do when he comes home."

The cat tilted his head up at Alec, as though to say, _Really? When does that ever end well? Just make-out. He likes that more than candles and roses._

Alec straightened out, nudging the Chairman away with his foot, and unbuckled his belt, unlaced his boots, and threw his jacket down next to his discarded weapons. He was covered in sweat and ichor, so he headed for the shower.

***

Coffee in one hand, book in the other, Alec traipsed from the kitchen to the living room, heading for the exceptionally comfortable sofa that Magnus had purchased ('purchased'—Alec was dubious) a few weeks ago.

He settled down, curling into the corner of the sofa. By day, he was a fearless (well, supposedly fearless) warrior who fought with the blood of angels singing in his veins and their marks enchanting his body. By night, he was a nineteen year old with a caffeine addiction and a love of books, who got great enjoyment from snuggling on the couch.

Alec flipped open the book to where he'd finished the previous day. Magnus had, over the last few years, expanded his reading to mundane novels, and Magnus had challenged him to read the whole Harry Potter series in the two weeks he was gone.

As Harry was revealing himself to those camped out in the Room of Requirement following his escapade through Hogsmeade, Alec felt a shiver run up his spine. He glanced up from his book, scanning the room for a sweater, and saw a loose cashmere sweater of Magnus' flung over the back of a chair.

Rather than put it on, Alec burrowed himself into the corner of the sofa, drawing his legs under him, and covered his chest and torso with it, tucking both arms beneath so that he only had to slip his hands out to turn a page. It smelt like Magnus, and it reminded Alec of winter evenings spent curled together, watching TV or listening to music or eating take-out, or just enjoying each other's company while doing something else entirely, sharing intermittent kisses.

Alec didn't intend to fall asleep, but, with the Chairman laid out on top of his feet and Magnus' sweater around him, the weight of the day started to pull him under. The book slipped shut as his grip loosened, and his head lolled to rest against the back of the couch, eyes closing as sleep overtook him.

***

Magnus tiptoed up the stairs outside his apartment. He was early home. Exceptionally early, in fact. He'd managed to deal with everything remarkably quickly, and had portalled home immediately, desperate to see Alec again.

Surprising a Shadowhunter was hard. First, news of even the most trivial kind seemed to travel amongst them like gossip amongst teenage girls. Second, if he climbed the stairs too loudly, Alec always heard him, and knew he was coming home. And third, it took every drop of Magnus' willpower not to call Alec on the way home to let him know that he was coming home early.

He didn't bother with a key—keys were too loud. Instead, he magicked open the front door, shutting it behind him as quietly as possible.

For a moment, he wondered whether Alec was still out on patrol—the place was absolutely silent. But then he saw the weapons belt and boots by the door, and a smile crossed his face. Alec was here. Alec was close. Twelve days since they'd seen each other, just as long since they'd spoken, and finally, finally, he was home. Home to New York, to Brooklyn, yes, but more importantly, home to Alec.

It wouldn't feel like home if Alec weren't there.

Magnus crept into the living room, trying his best to be sneaky. The last time he'd tried this, Alec had known he was there the entire time. It had been exceptionally disheartening, but it had led to Alec teaching him some genuinely-useful ways to stalk and creep and move inconspicuously.

He heard steady breathing coming from the sofa, and Alec's head of jet-black hair came into view. He peered round, surprised that Alec hadn't noticed him yet, and his entire being softened at the sight. Alec, asleep, dark hair brushing his eyes, curled into the sofa with Magnus' sweater around him, Chairman Meow asleep on his feet.

Magnus smiled at the pair, his heart aching. Alec was so beautiful. Magnus had missed him so much.

Gently, tenderly, Magnus ran his fingers through Alec's hair, trying not to wake him up. He looked tired, but, in slumber, he looked peaceful, contented. Magnus didn't want to disturb him. Alec tilted his head just a little into Magnus' touch, and Magnus' heart shattered. Even sub-consciously, Alec reached out for him.

Magnus pulled his hand away, resisting the urge to wake Alec up, and gently extracted a book from where it had fallen half-shut between Alec's knee and the couch. He grinned at the title. Alec had nearly finished all seven Harry Potter books. Later, they'd have to discuss those books. In extreme depth. For hours.

What? Magnus couldn't help it. He _loved_ that series.

As Magnus turned away from his boyfriend, going in search of coffee, there was a soft groan and the sound of cushions shifting. Magnus turned around, smiling widely, and watched as Alec rubbed a hand over his eyes, blinking blearily (adorably) at Magnus.

"Magnus?" Alec asked sleepily, eyelashes fluttering away the remnants of sleep.

"Alexander," Magnus said, grinning.

Alec stared at him for a moment in confusion, head tilted a little to one side, before his brain seemed to catch up with what his senses were telling him. Realisation dawned in his eyes, before they widened.

"Magnus!" Alec jumped up from the sofa and threw himself at Magnus, arms wrapping tightly around the warlock's neck. Magnus laughed, slipping his arms snugly around Alec's waist, breathing in the scent of his Shadowhunter. It was the first time they'd been apart this long since their break-up, and it had killed Magnus. (It was pathetic, honestly, but he couldn't help it.)

Magnus pressed his nose to Alec's hair as Alec nuzzled into his neck, both of them soaking up all they'd been missing. Magnus felt Alec pressing his lips against his neck, and he smiled, nosing at Alec's hair in response.

"I missed you," Alec mumbled. "A lot."

God, was it bad that it made Magnus so happy to hear that? It made him feel so happy. Happy that Alec had missed him as much as he'd missed Alec. Happy that Alec felt the same things he felt—not that there'd been any doubt in Magnus' mind about that, after all they'd been through. Happy that Alec was here, in his arms, holding him, after so long.

"I missed you too," Magnus told him. "So much."

He felt Alec smile, then the Nephilim pulled away. "You're early," he stated.

"I am. I got through things quickly. I tried to sneak in. I was going to surprise you by creeping up behind you and throwing myself at you, but you were asleep. You looked absolutely adorable, by the way."

Alec blushed and glared a little. "Shut up. And I don't think your sneaking worked."

"Why?"

"You appeared in my dream, suddenly, before I woke up."

Magnus couldn't stop smiling. He hoped he didn't look like a complete idiot. "You mean you don't dream about me all the time?" He raised an eyebrow.

Alec rolled his eyes. "Mostly I dream about things that don't even make sense. I think I was dreaming about umbrellas. I don't really remember."

Umbrellas? When did dreaming about umbrellas become something Magnus found attractive?

Magnus ran a thumb over Alec's cheek. "Alec?"

"Mm?"

"I love you."

Alec kissed him, softly, slowly, sweetly. "I love you too, Magnus."


	11. Another Lonely Night

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Magnus, years after Alec has died, survives another night alone.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Inspired by the song Another Lonely Night, by Adam Lambert (AKA Earth Ambassador to Planet Glitter-Rock).
> 
> I'm so sorry. I don't know why I do this.

_Alone in the dark, hole in my heart, turn on the radio_   
_And the words fall out, but they got no place to go_

Magnus couldn't remember the last time the darkness of the night in New York had felt so empty, so lonely, so meaningless. He stared out across his loft from the kitchen. He hadn't bothered to turn any lights on; the unending lights from the busy city outside filtered through the window, casting shadows across the apartment.

His emotions were consuming him. The cracks in the ruined remains of his heart, the black hole in his stomach that kept sucking every tiny feeling of positivity that started to rise, the unending agony in his chest.

God, he felt so alone. It had been a long, long time since he'd felt so isolated. The place was utterly silent, save for his own pained breaths.

He swallowed heavily around the lump in his throat as the image of unguarded blue eyes swam into his mind, and his fingers drifted to the radio behind him. Words drifted out of the speakers when he flicked it on.

He whispered the words into the dark, sadness filling him as he thought of all the times he'd turned the radio on and pulled his Shadowhunter in for a dance; all the times he'd been too caught up in the music to hear Alec coming home, and had been surprised when he felt warm arms around his waist.

But there was nobody here, now. There was no Alec. Alec was gone. And he wasn't coming back. Nobody would walk through the door and laugh softly, then dance with him (certainly no blue-eyed Shadowhunter who refused to dance in public, but danced quite happily in the privacy of their kitchen). Nobody would stumble out of the bedroom, bleary-eyed and gorgeously rumpled, and complain that it was too early, and tell Magnus off for waking him up. Nobody would see the devastation written across the warlock's face, pull him close, and sway to the music.

Because Alec was gone, and Magnus didn't want anybody else.

 _Wasted on you, high on the fumes_  
Know I should let you go  
But the world won't stop  
And all I got is your ghost, oh, oh oh

It was ridiculous. It had been so long, now. Years. Years since Alec had been ripped away from him by the fragility the came with mortality. It was time for Magnus to let Alec go. It was time to start living again.

But he couldn't. However hard he tried, however many times he tried to put on a smile and throw a party, the despair swallowed him whole, every time. Because everything was a trigger. Everything reminded him of the way Alec used to make him feel—alive and whole and loved. So, so loved.

He'd tried. Oh, he'd tried. For Max's sake, if nobody else's. But Max was far away, wrapped up in his own grief, trying to cope in his own ways.

That first time he'd left his apartment, just to go out and get coffee with Catarina, he'd broken down at the sight of a dark-haired man, who looked nothing like Alec, ordering black coffee.

Then, months and months and months after that, he'd tried to throw one of his infamous parties. He didn't invite any Shadowhunters. He refused to associate himself with them. It hurt far too much to hear the Lightwood name. Hell, it hurt to hear any of their names—Herondale, Fairchild, Blackthorn, Carstairs...

But the memory of Alec walking through his door for the first time, shy but eager, defensive of his siblings, kind in response to Magnus' story of his past, had been too much. He'd left his own party barely after it had started, locking him in their bedroom - the bedroom that was now just his - for the entirety of the night.

 _Another day, another lonely night_  
I would do anything to have you by my side  
Another day, another lonely night  
Don't wanna throw away another lonely life

Nights were the worst. There was nothing to distract him. He wasted his days snipping at clients, being as unhelpful as possible, picking up his terrible habit from Victorian London of smoking in an attempt to dull his pain.

But there was nothing at night. While the rest of the world slept, Magnus stayed awake, barely able to stand the agony ricocheting through him. He would have done anything to find Alec again. To have his Alec back, by his side, their hands held tight together, his palm over Alec's beating heart.

And yet, he could do nothing. Just as he'd been able to do nothing to stop the inevitable. He could do nothing to stop the emptiness, or the shards of glass in his heart.

_No time to sleep, all that I see, are old memories of you  
Yeah I try my best, but there's no one left for me to lose_

Magnus felt like he was haunted. Haunted by the memories, haunted by long-gone feelings, haunted by Alec. He couldn't get Alec out of his mind, or out of his heart. He couldn't stop thinking about what he'd had.

He couldn't sleep. He could never sleep. That was why he was still awake at two o'clock in the morning. He couldn't clear his mind of Alec, even in sleep.

He'd been woken, tonight, by a nightmare. Again. A nightmare about losing him. And, just like every time he'd had a nightmare for so, so many decades, he'd reached out to the other side of the bed, searching for the warmth of his husband, the reassuring beat of his heat, the soft sounds of his breaths as he slept.

But he'd realised that Alec wasn't there. That Alec would never be there again. And he'd cried. He'd cried and cried in a way he couldn't remember crying before this - this Alec-induced pain - and curled up in bed, clutching at the sheets, searching desperately for the scent that had faded over the long years. He hadn't washed Alec's sweaters, but none of them smelt like him anymore. Nothing did. It had been too long. Still, though, the knowledge that they were Alec's, that Alec had touched them, worn them, was enough to make Magnus bury his face in them when he couldn't take the pain any longer; when he couldn't fathom the idea of spending eternity like this, feeling like this, when Alec wouldn't be by his side ever again.

He tried. He tried so hard. He tried to be happy by day, to endure, to continue living, but what did he have left to lose? He'd lost most of his oldest friends. He'd lost those god-forsaken Nephilim that he'd become fond of. And he'd lost Alec. What else was there, without Alec?

 _Tear in my eye, I drive through the night, as far as I can from you_  
And I don't give a fuck if the sun comes up, yeah  
It's just another

Magnus' eyes rested on the sofa. Inadvertently, his mind flew to all the thousands of times he'd curled up on that sofa with Alec, arms around each other, or asleep in the other's lap, or just sprawled out, exhausted but content.

He couldn't bare it. He couldn't.

The cool night air should have made him feel better as he fled from the apartment that held so many memories, but it didn't. There were tears on his cheeks as he stumbled along the streets of Brooklyn, walking aimlessly, just desperate to get away from that place.

He didn't care. He didn't care about a thing. He just wanted his Alec back in his arms, his breath against his neck, hair tickling his cheek, lips tender on his throat. He didn't care whether the sun rose, or whether the Shadowhunters started another war amongst themselves. It didn't matter to him. He didn't care for their pettiness.

Nothing mattered. Nothing made him care. Every day was the same meaningless, pain-filled tune that he couldn't escape. Every hour served him a hundred reminders of the man he'd loved more than he thought it was possible to love anything. Every minute required him to breathe in and out, even though it tore at his heart to do so.

 _Another day, another lonely night_  
I would do anything to have you by my side  
Another day, another lonely night  
Don't wanna throw away another lonely life

He could almost hear Alec's voice in his mind, telling him to live, telling him to move on, telling him to keep going. Alec would be ashamed to see him like this, years after he'd gone.

No. No, not ashamed. Alec was never ashamed of him. Alec would look at him with those twin blue eyes, full of sympathy and care and love, and he'd apologise for hurting him, because Alec always tried to take the blame with those he loved. He always tried to make things easier on other people.

Magnus choked out a sob as he fell back against a wall in a dark alleyway, the rushing sound of New York traffic far away. The sounds that emitted from his throat were raw and ugly and tormented. But the anguished noises were nothing to what he felt.

_No I don't give a fuck if the sun comes up, yeah  
It's just another_

Time passed that night in fits and spurts, just as it did every other night. Magnus wasn't roused from his pain, his memories of Alec, until the sun rose, warmth spilling through the cold alleyway and caressing his skin gently, as though Alec were touching his cheek softly with the backs of his fingers, saying, _Magnus, come on, it's morning, it's time to carry on, it's time to keep enduring._

Magnus sucked in a deep breath and looked up at the sun, scrubbing the bases of his palms across his eyes. He'd put make-up on the previous morning, something he didn't bother with often, because a client had insisted upon meeting outside a mundane bar. He was sure that it was ruined and smudged and caked onto his skin in horrific ways now.

 _Oh, my Alec_ , he thought, blinking rapidly. _It hurts. So much. I want to see you again. I would do anything. I'd burn down the world, and you'd hate me for doing it, but I would. And I'm powerless._

Magnus inhaled and exhaled, slowly, then, with considerable effort, he hauled himself up off the floor, and brushed the dirt off his pants.

He meandered out of the alleyway slowly. He had nothing to go home to, save for an empty, lonely apartment. He had nothing to do today—no clients or people to meet. What was the point in living when you had nobody to share it with?

Magnus was so preoccupied, so wound up in his emotional turmoil and heartbreak, that he didn't notice the young mundane until he'd smashed into him, causing them both to stumble backwards.

Magnus opened his mouth to bark out a rude, snappy comment, even though it had been entirely his fault, but his throat closed up at the sight of familiar blue eyes and messy black hair that had been silver the last time he'd seen it, but—

"I'm sorry," the mundane said, flushing a little, not looking at Magnus, his face averted.

 _Alec_.

Magnus stood stock-still as the mundane walked down the street, heading away from the warlock. Magnus' heart was pounding, thudding against his ribs, and his mind was screaming, shouting at his body to move, to go after that young man—little more than a boy.

It was impossible. Alec was dead. Alec had been mortal. Mortals didn't come back from the dead. Certainly not looking just the same they had nearly a hundred years ago, and certainly not as a completely different species. But that mundane...

"Hey!" Magnus called out, running forwards, hope - foolish, stupid hope - flooding through him. "Wait!"

Curious humans turned to stare at him, but Magnus didn't care. The mundane who looked, who sounded, so much like Alec, was still walking, apparently wrapped up in his own world. Magnus had to get to him, he had to look at him properly, he had to take all of him, he had to—

Magnus pushed roughly past a group of teenager girls, and caught up to the mundane boy he'd just run into. He put his hand on the boy's shoulder, noting, his heart fluttering, the distinctly unexciting sweater and jeans he was wearing.

"Hey," Magnus said.

Magnus dropped his hand as he fell into step with the boy and their eyes met. For a moment, all Magnus could do was stare at those eyes, so, so blue, so like ones he'd known so long ago...

He swallowed, hard, at the boy's look of mixed confusion and curiosity, his expression half-concerned, half-guarded. Magnus' eyes flickered across the rest of his face, and his heart plummeted. He'd recognise his Alec anyway, at any age. He'd recognise him if he appeared as a six-year-old child, years before Magnus had known him.

And this...this wasn't Alec.

"Are you okay?" the boy asked, raising his eyebrows. "You look kind of...upset."

Magnus closed his eyes to stop the tears, and let out a hoarse laugh. "I am." He shook his head, jaw clenched in an effort not to cry. This was why it was foolish to hope for such unlikely, impossible things. Because, every time, the universe was at its old tricks, playing sick jokes for some kind of sadistic pleasure.

"I'm sorry," Magnus said after a moment, opening his eyes. It was painful to look at this boy. Because, though he clearly wasn't, he looked so, so like Alec. "I thought you were someone else."

The boy studied Magnus, eyes slightly narrowed. "Do you need anything? Maybe I can help."

Magnus smiled a tiny, tiny smile, a sad smile, and shook his head. "Nobody can help. Not unless they can play games with Death."

The boy shook his head. "I can't do that," he said. "But my name is Alex. And I live down there." He motioned down the street as Magnus' stomach dropped and his heart burned with an ache he couldn't even begin to describe. _Alex_? What were the chances? "If you change your mind." He shot Magnus a smile, then walked away, leaving Magnus stunned.

 _Another day, another lonely night_  
I would do anything to have you by my side  
Another day, another lonely night  
Don't wanna throw away another lonely life

"I'm home, Alec," Magnus murmured to his empty apartment, shutting the door behind him slowly. "I'm sorry I was out late. But I haven't got any clients today."

Magnus kicked off his boots, wondering whether, perhaps, he was completely losing his mind. Maybe he should get another cat. At least that would be an uncomplicated companion.

"I love you," Magnus said to the silence. "I hope you know that. I love you so much."

And so, after another lonely night, began another day.


	12. Bad Moods

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which Alec is in a bad mood, Magnus is worried, and Jace is a douchebag.

Alec was in a foul mood. 

That much was obvious from the moment he walked through the front door, throwing it shut it so hard Magnus was afraid he'd broken it. Magnus poked his head into the hallway cautiously, and saw Alec rip off his belt, throw it on the floor with a clang, and then begin to tear at the laces on his boots.

"Alec?" Magnus asked.

Alec glanced up at him, jaw clenched. He was glaring. Not at Magnus, specifically, but at everything his eyes landed on. "What?"

Magnus raised his eyebrows just a little as Alec yanked harshly on the zipper of his jacket. "What's wrong?"

Alec's glare became more pronounced. "Nothing!"

For a moment, they stared at each other, Magnus in surprise and Alec in anger, before Alec spat out that he was going to shower. 

It took Magnus a moment to collect himself. God knew Alec had a temper sometimes, but not usually like that—not so completely irrational, and not outright refusing to talk about it. At least, not with Magnus.

Magnus headed into the kitchen, grabbed a mug, and made Alec coffee from that infernal (wonderful) machine. If anything calmed Alec down, it was coffee, silence, and reassuring touches. 

So when Alec came out of the bathroom, hair wet and dressed in clothes with too many holes to count, Magnus didn't say anything to him. He merely smiled softly, pushed the cup into his hands, and brushed his fingers across Alec's shoulder.

"Thanks," Alec muttered. 

To Magnus' dismay, he merely sat down on the couch, his expression thunderous, and stayed completely silent as he drank his coffee. Magnus pretended to be looking through the books he'd been working from before Alec came home, but he was watching his boyfriend, not the words on the page. 

"Stop looking at me," Alec snapped. 

Magnus shut his book, giving up the pretence. Of course Alec had noticed. He had his back to Magnus, but he still knew. "I'm sorry. I just want to know what's bothering you."

Alec turned, scowling. "I said that nothing's bothering me, Magnus! Okay? Nothing! I'm fine, so leave it. Just leave me alone."

Magnus' eyes widened a little at the bite in Alec's voice, the anger in his tone, and the destructive look on his face. Alec looked like he'd sooner stab Magnus through the arm with a seraph blade than talk to him about his feelings right then. Magnus was thankful that he knew Alec well enough to know that, however annoyed he was, he wouldn't actually do that.

Without warning, Alec leapt up from the couch, unsettling Chairman Meow and causing the cat to let out a yowl of protest, and rushed into the bedroom, slamming the door shut behind him with a final-sounding thud.

Magnus stared at the bedroom door, astonished and more than a little confused as the vibrations of Alec's slam rattled through the apartment. What on earth was going on? What had bothered Alec so much that he was behaving like this—a manner Magnus had never seen from him before, in more than two years of dating. 

The warlock waited an hour. If Alec was in that kind of mood, he'd give the Shadowhunter some space, to calm down or to cry alone or to de-stress or whatever Alec needed to do. Magnus understood the need to be alone, sometimes, and he understood that emotions are rarely rational and logical.

But when an hour had been and passed, Magnus couldn't control himself. He stood up from the table, pushing away the work he'd been trying (and failing) to focus on, and trod over to their bedroom door. 

He hesitated before knocking, second-guessing his decision to disturb Alec. He threw caution to the wind, his curiosity and worry winning out over his wariness, and rapped lightly. "Alec?" he called. "Can I come in?"

He got no reply from inside, so he cracked open the door, peering round. 

The lights inside were off, and it took his eyes a second to adjust to the darkness. Alec was lying on the bed facing the ceiling, his hands knotted behind his head, his eyes open as he stared unblinkingly at the ceiling. 

"I'm so sorry," he said, gaze not moving.

"It's alright," Magnus told him, leaving his spot by the door and coming to sit down on the other side of the bed. 

"It's not. I was in a bad mood and I started snapping at you. That's not okay."

"Alec." Magnus touched his cheek. "I forgive you. It's forgotten. Tell me what's wrong."

Alec sighed heavily, leaning into Magnus' touch. Alec closed his eyes, then spoke. "I'm blowing things out of proportion. I had an argument with Jace. I can barely remember what we were arguing about, now, but it he'd done something stupid. Nothing new. We were both saying...things that we didn't mean. Things that weren't true, and weren't nice. Something he said, it just...it got to me. It shouldn't have - he didn't mean it, not really, because this is Jace and he says things he doesn't mean, or he twists things he does mean to sound despicable - but it still hurt."

Magnus ran his fingers through Alec's hair as the Shadowhunter spoke. "What did he say?"

"I made some jab at him pining after Clary when they thought they were siblings, and he told me I couldn't talk, because I turned to my boyfriend's bitchy, manipulative vampire ex for relationship advice and decided stealing and killing was a good way to go." Alec swallowed harshly, and Magnus' gentle stroking stilled. 

The warlock frowned. "Alec. Look at me."

Alec shifted his eyes from the ceiling to Magnus. The warlock's heart ached at the anguish he saw there, and he wanted to wrap Alec in his arms and protect him from all the pain in the world. 

"That's not true," Magnus said softly, "and you know it's not. You explicitly chose not to take Camille's offer. I forced you into a corner, and you reacted in the same way anyone would. You weren't the only one to blame in that whole ordeal." Magnus smiled a little. "We had some communication issues back then, yes, but we're past that. It's over. I love you, you love me, and Camille is dead. Besides, you literally walked through hell to save me. I think that makes up for any wrongdoing that may have occurred between you and Camille."

Alec sighed. "I know. I know there's no reason to get this emotional over it."

"I didn't say that." Magnus laced their fingers together. "You're allowed to be hurt. But, if I'm being honest, I think you're more upset about Jace saying hurtful things than the hurtful things themselves. Am I right?"

Alec nodded. "He's my parabatai. I hate arguing with him. I mean, we argue all the time - continually - but not like that."

"I know. It's alright. Now, stop moping and call him."

Alec glanced at Magnus. "Call Jace?"

"Yes."

"He'll still be angry with me."

"Probably. He'll also probably be feeling guilty about what he said to you. So suck it up and call him, Lightwood." 

Alec smiled. He sat up, and gave Magnus a feather-light kiss. "Thank you."

"You're welcome."


	13. Headaches

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which Chairman Meow is hungry, Magnus has a headache, and Alec saves the day.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Set sometime after the end of CoA

Alec frowned a little when he opened the front door to Magnus' apartment to find the entire place pitch black. He'd texted the warlock earlier to ask whether he could come over when they'd finished patrolling (he needed to get away from his family for a while, and he felt a desperate need to be around Magnus as much as was humanly possible) so Magnus knew he was coming.

Concern flared in his chest as he considered the possibility that something had happened to Magnus. The warlock had hundreds of protections and wards around the place, but what if something had broken through? The place was utterly silent, so if something had come in, it must have left but what if it had hurt Magnus?

Or maybe Magnus had just forgotten he was coming, and had left to do something. Or perhaps he'd had an urgent client, and hadn't had time to text him to let him know. That seemed more likely. Alec felt just a twinge of hurt and the idea of Magnus forgetting, or not taking fifteen seconds to text him.

Just as Alec pushed the door shut behind him, simultaneously reaching for his witchlight, he heard a plaintive _meow!_ and saw a pair of shining yellow cat eyes appear below him. His witchlight flared up as Chairman Meow began circling around his legs, rubbing against him.

A wry smile crossed Alec's face as he crouched down on his heels to rub the top of the cat's head, causing the purring to come louder, the Chairman arching his back and nudging up into Alec's palm. Alec couldn't help but love Magnus' little tabby. It helped that Chairman Meow seemed to like him, and Magnus apparently put value in his cat's opinions.

"Where's Magnus?" Alec asked the cat, knowing full well that the Chairman didn't have a clue what he was on about. As though just to back that sentiment up, the tabby tilted his head, encouraging Alec to tickle behind his ears. "Are you hungry? Did he forget to feed you?"

The Chairman paused in his rubbing against Alec's hand as though he knew exactly what _that_ meant, and yes, actually, he was starving. He looked at Alec with huge eyes, and meowed pitifully.

Alec chuckled a little. He straightened up and held his witchlight up to find the light switch and flip it on. The living room looked perfectly ordinary, except there was a sweater on the sofa that couldn't possibly have belonged to Magnus: it was far too— Oh. It was his. He didn't remember leaving it behind, but it had been neatly folded and, when Alec picked it up, it smelt of Magnus' laundry detergent.

"Come on," Alec said to the cat. "Let's find you some food."

The Chairman followed Alec into the kitchen. Alec grabbed the cat food that Magnus kept in the top cupboard, and shook some into the Chairman's bowl. The moment the food was out, the Chairman was far more interested in that than Alec.

Alec turned away from the cat, and noticed, as he put the food away, that the kitchen counters were covered in bottles and jars and books, and several sheets of paper covered in Magnus' handwriting.

Wondering what the warlock had been doing, Alec decided to check in Magnus' bedroom, just in case he was in there and hadn't heard Alec come in.

He cracked the door open, the saw that all the lights were off inside. He was just about to back out and leave, when he noticed the human-sized lump in the bed. His brow furrowed. Was Magnus sick?

"Magnus?" he asked, keeping his voice quiet—he didn't want to wake him up if he was asleep and ill.

An incoherent groan came from the bed.

Alec took a hesitant step further into the room. "It's me. I mean– It's Alec. Are you...okay?"

A muffled 'No!' came from where Magnus had burrowed himself under the duvet.

The Shadowhunter felt a little unsure about whether or not he was wanted at that particular moment in time. He didn't really know how to navigate Magnus' moods. He pushed the door to behind him so that just enough light bled through for him to see, then walked over to the side of the bed and sat down tentatively on the edge.

"What's wrong?" he asked, voice even softer now. He lifted a hand after a moment of second-guessing, and brushed back some hair from the warlock's forehead.

"Mm." Magnus tilted his head into Alec's touch, his eyes still closed. Alec let the backs of his fingers linger on the warlock's temple. "Feels nice. You're cold."

Alec felt Magnus' forehead, testing the temperature. "And you're really warm."

"My head hurts," Magnus moaned.

Alec eyebrows shot up. "Like, headache?"

"Mhmm."

Alec paused for a moment. He pressed his lips to Magnus' forehead, then stood up and walked round to the other side of the bed. He kicked off his combat boots and sat himself fully on the bed so that he was leaning against the headboard. Then he pulled Magnus carefully towards him, and rested the warlock's head in his lap.

Magnus' eyes opened groggily. "What're you—" He stopped, and let out a long groan. Alec's fingers had found his temples, and he was massaging Magnus' head gently in an attempt to combat Magnus' headache. Apparently, Magnus had appreciated the cold earlier, and Alec's hands were freezing.

"That feels nice." Magnus' eyes had slipped shut again, and he burrowed his head into Alec's thighs.

Alec smiled. "Why have you got such a bad headache?"

"I've been working."

Alec rolled his eyes. "You shouldn't work that hard."

Magnus' eyes opened, cat-like pupils gazing up at Alec in the relative darkness of the room. "I don't. Not usually."

There was silence for a moment. Then: "You could have told me not to come."

Magnus raised his eyebrows. "Now why would I have done that?"

"Because you're exhausted?" Alec suggested, keeping up his rhythmic massaging.

Magnus grinned. "But I feel so much better now. And I wouldn't have done if you hadn't come."

Alec couldn't help but feel pleased at that. "You're welcome."

Magnus sighed softly in contentment. "Alec?"

"Yeah?" He peered down at the warlock (like his attention had been anywhere else).

"You're welcome here any time. And you don't need to text me beforehand."

Alec felt a little surprised, but he nodded. "Okay."

"And you know what? I think I feel good enough to say hello now."

Alec frowned in confusion. "You—"

Magnus leant up and kissed him, one hand wrapping around the back of his neck, the other braced on the bed to hold himself up. Alec wound an arm around his waist, keeping the warlock in place as they kissed, softly.

"Hello, Alexander," Magnus said when he pulled back, grinning.

Alec thought he was beautiful.

"Hi, Magnus." Alec smiled, a little shyly, but genuinely.

Magnus thought he was gorgeous.


	14. Different

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which Magnus admits the truth, acts irrationally, and Alec makes everything better.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I just wanted to highlight that bisexuals like Magnus get shit from the gay community as well as the straight community, that bi-representation in the media is tiny, and that biphobia and bi-erasure are huge and problematic.
> 
> Minor angst, mostly fluff. Irrational Magnus.

Magnus Bane didn't often feel nervous. But as he sat across from a certain black-haired blue-eyed man who was stealing his heart at frightening speed, he couldn't get rid of the curdling, twisting feeling in his stomach.

They sat in Magnus' favourite coffee shop, a quaint place called Taki's, talking and teasing comfortably. Their relationship was new, bright, burning hot, but not so new that moments were filled with awkward silences and difficult embarrassment. They knew each other, well, but not inside out.

Alec let out a long laugh as Magnus recounted a mildly-terrifying story of what had transpired between himself and a client in his small apothecary shop in Brooklyn. Alec's head was thrown back, blue eyes shining, the pale column of his neck exposed. Alexander Lightwood was beautiful, in so many ways.

He stopped laughing abruptly when he realised that Magnus was staring at him. He cleared his throat.

"Sorry," Magnus said, snapping out of his trance.

Alec looked self-conscious. "Is something...wrong?"

Magnus reached out and covered Alec's hand with his own, smiling. "No. You're beautiful. That's all."

Predictably, Alec flushed, the red tinting his cheeks and rushing down his neck. Magnus ducked his head as his smile widened, and reached for his coffee with his free hand, leaving Alec to his embarrassment. He didn't mean to embarrass Alec (though he couldn't deny that his blush was adorable) but he had to tell him the truth. It was clear Alec had been starved of compliments all his life, and Magnus needed to make up for all the times his parents should have told him how incredible he was.

And, speaking of truths, Magnus had something he needed to confess. Less important, really, than making sure that Alec knew that he was a beautiful person, inside and out, but far more nerve-inducing. The last three times he'd told his love interest this, it had led to the end. The end of a date (never to be heard from again), the end of a flirty conversation (with no numbers exchanged) and the end of an (albeit short) relationship.

Magnus hated it. And he prayed that Alec would be different.

"Are you okay?" Alec asked, pulling Magnus out of his thoughts for what had to be the fifth time in the last half an hour. "You seem distracted. If you need to go somewhere, it's fine, I—"

"No," Magnus interrupted smoothly, hating that Alec always did this. He always thought that he was less important than anything else in Magnus' life—accepted it easily, as though it was just fact, and not a problem. Magnus hated it. He wanted to tell Alec just how important he was, but he had some other truths to tell before he revealed the depths of his feelings. "I don't need to be anywhere but here."

He tightened his grip infinitesimally on Alec's hand. Alec seemed to notice: he turned his hand over where it lay under Magnus', and curled their fingers together. He held Magnus' gaze, waiting, clearly sensing that Magnus wasn't done.

"But I need to tell you something."

Alec ran his thumb across Magnus' knuckles. "What is it?"

"I haven't been completely honest with you," Magnus admitted, sighing softly. "I mean, it's not...life-changing, or essential, but you should know, and I should have told you sooner." _At some point in the last three months, at least._

Alec nodded, expression curious but in no way judgemental. Yet.

Magnus locked his eyes firmly on Alec's. "I'm not gay. I'm bisexual."

Alec's brow furrowed. "Okay."

Magnus cringed a little. "Okay?"

"That's what I said."

Magnus tried to read Alec's facial expression. He felt a little lost as he looked into those blue eyes, trying to figure out what Alec was thinking. His expression was inscrutable, and he was silent. So he had to ask.

"Alec, is this okay?"

Alec shot him a look that was some mix between bewilderment and frustration. "I'm pretty sure I've already told you that. I don't really understand what—"

Magnus couldn't bare to hear the rest of that sentence. He slid his hand out from where Alec held it, and said, "Is this the part when you start spouting off shit about greed and phases and 'fake gay' and how I'm going to run off with a woman and cheat on you and—"

Alec's eyebrows shot up. "I was under the impression that you weren't really into polygamy. And if you are, please tell me now."

"I'm _not_ ," Magnus snapped, defensive in his tone and body language. He'd really thought Alec would be different. So many people had rejected him for being bisexual, but he hadn't thought Alec would be one of them. Yet here they sat, Alec suddenly reserved and talking about polygamy, for god's sake. Magnus had said many times that that really wasn't for him.

Alec sat back in his chair, watching Magnus carefully. "Alright then."

Magnus felt unimaginably frustrated. He wanted to scream. Every time. Every. Single. Time. And it was always the 'real gays' who were the worst. Sure, his ex-girlfriend, Camille, had been a bitch, but at least she hadn't had a problem with his sexuality. There'd been that one girl who found it a turn-off, but every other time, he'd had problems with gays telling him he wasn't valid.

And for Alec to be one of those people... It broke his heart. Alec hadn't said it outright yet, but he was making it clear enough with his strange, short answers and his frowns.

Magnus felt tears stinging his eyes, a knot forming suddenly in the back of his throat. He clenched a fist around his coffee cup, determined not to cry in front of Alec after that.

"I should go," Magnus managed to get out, standing up jerkily, bashing against the table. "Call me. If you want to."

Magnus saw Alec frown again, this time more prominently. "Why would I—"

_Why would I call you? Why would I call you when you're going to cheat on me? Why would I want to date a liar? A hypocrite? A fake?_

Magnus had heard the words so many times before.

"Don't say it," Magnus begged him. "Please don't."

He hurried past the other customers in the café and out the door, desperate to get away from his latest heartbreak before he broke down in tears. He could feel it coming, that tidal wave of emotion that he couldn't stop. And he wouldn't lose it in front of Alec. He couldn't. Not after that. He wouldn't humiliate himself further.

He was only a few hundred metres away from the coffee shop when he heard someone calling his name. _Alec_. Alec had chased after him. Magnus wanted to run away. He didn't want to hear whatever Alec needed to say.

But he felt Alec's hand on his forearm, and it was too late to flee. Especially when all he really wanted was to throw himself into Alec's arms and cry while being held securely in his embrace.

"Magnus," Alec said, slightly out of breath, as though he'd been running to catch up. He pulled Magnus to a stop, turning him so they were facing each other. "What on earth is going on?"

"I'm leaving," Magnus stated angrily. "I thought that was obvious."

"But why?" Alec looked immeasurably confused. "Did I do something wrong?"

" _Wrong_?" Magnus repeated, incredulous. "Did you not— What did you think my reaction to all that would be?"

Alec shook his head, searching Magnus' eyes. "I don't know what you're talking about."

Magnus barked out a harsh laugh. "Wow. At least most of you assholes admit to it, rather than acting like they don't have a clue."

Alec looked astonished. "Did you just call me an asshole?"

Magnus' nostrils flared, and he yanked his arm out of Alec's grip. "Yes. And leave me alone."

"No." Alec stepped in front of him. "Not until you tell me what I've done. And maybe explain what happened in Taki's, while you're at it."

"Oh, good god." Magnus huffed, and, with deliberate slowness, said, "For obvious reasons, I do not date people who are biphobic."

Alec stared at him. "I'm not biphobic."

"Then why did you talk about polygamy and act like we were done and—"

" _You_ brought up polygamy!" Alec's eyes were wide. "And why the hell would we be done?"

"Because I told you I'm bisexual!"

They were both shouting, Alec in what appeared to be bewilderment and Magnus in indignation. But, at that, Alec fell silent, holding Magnus' gaze, chest rising and falling heavily. Then he let out a soft laugh, shaking his head slowly.

"Mags," he said, making Magnus flinch. Alec was the only person who had ever given him that nickname, and it was always spoken with the upmost affection. This time was no different. "I don't care whether you're gay or bi or pan or anything else. You're attracted to me, you're with me. Why would you be any more likely to cheat on me because you're bisexual?"

Magnus' lips parted, any remaining words of anger drying up instantly. "You... What?"

Alec took both Magnus' hands in his. "I'm sorry. I was confused, in Taki's. I didn't realise why you kept going on about it, or why you suddenly brought up polygamy."

"Because so many gay people seem to hate bisexuals and think we're going to cheat on them every weekend."

"I know." Alec kissed the back of Magnus' hand. "I know. I realise that now. But I swear, I wasn't rejecting you. I was confused."

"Maybe I jumped to conclusions a bit fast," Magnus said.

Alec smiled at him. "Maybe," he agreed. "But I love you. It doesn't matter—"

Magnus' eyes went huge. "You do?"

Alec flushed, as though he'd only just realised what he'd said, and bit down on his lower lip. "I do."

Magnus threw his arms around Alec's neck and kissed him, in the middle of the street, hot and hard and messy, trying to drag them closer together. Alec's arms wrapped around his waist, secure in their hold, hands firm and fingers gentle.

When they broke apart, Magnus leant his forehead against Alec's. "I love you too."

Alec's answering smile was brilliant.

Finally, Magnus had found someone to love who was different.


	15. You Are Not Trivial

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which Alec is insecure, Magnus reassures him that he is loved, and they kiss and make up.

_There isn't going to be a next time_ , Magnus had said. _You are not trivial._

And then they'd kissed, in the corner of the Institute, wrapped around each other, Alec's heart breaking and mending simultaneously in painful equilibrium.

Until they'd found Jace gone, Sebastian too, and everything had gone to hell.

But now they were back at Magnus' apartment, Alec pressed lightly back against the door, kissing Magnus again. Alec didn't know what time it was; he was exhausted, and his body ached, and his mind was so, so tired. Because whatever Magnus said, and no matter how much he wanted to believe it, maybe even did believe it, he couldn't get the thought out of his head. He was trivial. He had to be. What did he know about Magnus? What did he give Magnus?

"Alec," Magnus breathed onto his lips. It sounded like a prayer, a divine exhalation, and, unbidden, images of the first time they'd slept together filtered into Alec's mind. "Alec."

How many people had Magnus slept with, exactly? How many people had there been before Alec? Alec knew that it shouldn't matter so much to him, and, maybe, he'd forget about that someday, if Magnus would just talk about his past, just a bit.

Alec felt terrible, as he allowed his body to enjoy Magnus' deep, slow, erotic kisses, while his mind screamed. Coming home and having sex didn't make him feel any less trivial. In fact, it made everything between them seem even more meaningless.

Magnus tugged Alec gently backwards, and Alec wondered when would be the right moment to tell Magnus that he didn't want this right now, he just wanted to curl up on his own and maybe cry—

But they weren't going to the bedroom. His legs hit the back of something much lower. The sofa, he realised. He felt a little sick at the idea. It wasn't like they'd never had sex anywhere other than a bed before, it was that now, after all that, really? Couldn't Magnus see that this made everything worse, not better?

Magnus sat him back so that Alec was reclining against one arm of the sofa, his legs out, Magnus straddling him, hands gentle in his hair.

Alec titled his head back as Magnus kept kissing him, soft and unhurried and gentler now, with less of that lustful edge their touches had had before. His arms rested lightly around the warlock's waist, fingers running up and down Magnus' ribs.

Magnus broke the kiss, and pulled away to gaze deep into Alec's eyes, those gold-green irises like liquid. Magnus pressed his lips to Alec's jaw, then his cheek, his nose, his forehead, both fluttering eyelids. He peppered Alec's face with soft kisses, each one more tender than the last, slowly shattering Alec's heart with every movement.

Because, clearly, Magnus did understand how Alec felt. He was lathering the Shadowhunter in attention, not devouring him in a blaze of passion. This was so much better.

When Magnus finally reached Alec's lips again, the touch was so soft it was little more than a caress. Alec's eyes stayed closed as Magnus' lips disappeared, before touching his forehead again with the upmost care, lingering on his skin.

"I love you," Magnus said, voice as soft as his kisses, lips brushing across Alec's forehead as he ran his fingers through Alec's hair. "And you are not trivial."

"I love you too," Alec murmured.

Magnus looked at him for a long moment. "You still don't believe me."

Alec lowered his eyes away from the warlock, hating himself for his insecurities.

"Listen." Magnus placed long, ring-clad fingers along Alec's cheeks. "I am happy. You make me happy. So happy." He smiled. "Immortality can be tiring. But you make me want to live, and be young and excited and happy."

Alec felt himself falling into those gold-green eyes. "Lots of people must have made you happy."

Magnus shook his head. "On the contrary. Usually when I'm in love, I'm miserable." He brushed his fingers over the corner of Alec's eye. "Just ask Catarina."

He touched his fingers to Magnus' lips absently, eyes fixed on the white of his teeth between his lips, which had parted slightly under his touch. There were no stains on his teeth, despite the copious amounts of coffee he consumed—they were gleaming white, and perfectly straight. Alec wondered whether Magnus had used magic, or whether his teeth, like the rest of him, were naturally flawless.

Magnus kissed the tips of his index and middle fingers, and Alec lifted his gaze to meet the warlock's. He was still straddling the Shadowhunter, one hand looped around the back of his neck, the other buried in his hair, stroking intermittently.

"Did she make you miserable?"

Magnus had, presumably, had hundreds (quite possibly literally) of female lovers in the past, but he knew who Alec was talking about, if only because he refused to tell Alec anything about any of the others.

The warlock took a moment to respond. "Not at first," he said, slowly. "But Camille–" Alec couldn't help the slight tightening of his jaw "–has very different ideas about love to me. She didn't believe in staying faithful. We're two immortals, was her reasoning. How could we be monogamous for eternity?" Magnus shook his head. "She didn't love me. Not really. She starved me. She gave me the least she could."

Alec felt his eyebrows draw together. "But you loved her."

Magnus inclined his head in acknowledgement. "Yes." He brushed his thumb over Alec's cheek. "But I haven't loved her for a very, very long time. And I never loved her like I love you."

Alec bit his lower lip. "Why?"

"Why what?" Magnus asked, thumb stroking back and forth over Alec's skin.

"Why me? I'm not— I'm nothing like Camille. Or Woolsey Scott, or any other famous, talented, extravagant person you've been with. I'm not in charge of a vampire clan and I didn't set up the Praetor Lupus and—"

Magnus cut him off. "Because you're you."

Alec made a frustrated noise in the back of his throat. "What does that mean?"

Magnus gave him a steady look. "Why do you love me?"

Alec stared at him incredulously. "How do you expect me to answer that? That's not fair."

"Exactly." Magnus kissed him again, lightly. "I love you for all the things that can be put into words - the way you love and protect, and your honesty and intricate simplicities, and the more sensitive side of yourself that not everyone gets to see, and your beauty and strength and grace - but I love you more for all the unnamable things."

Alec leant into Magnus' touch. "I'm sorry."

"No." Magnus pressed his lips to Alec's forehead. "No. Don't be sorry. There will be things to be sorry for, on both our parts, one day, and we can do forgiveness then. But not now. Not for this."

Alec smiled a little. "You really love me as much as all that?"

Magnus nodded, smiling back. "Of course I do."

Alec opened his mouth to reply, when a yawn overtook him. His smile dropped away as he remembered why he was so tired—Jace and Clary and Lilith and Sebastian. Jace was gone, Sebastian with him, that symbol left on the roof of the Institute.

"Magnus?"

"Mm?"

"Can we go to bed?"

Magnus leant back on his heels and took Alec's hands, pulling him up into a sitting position. "Of course. Come on."

Alec held onto his boyfriend, his heart heavy in his chest, but, perhaps, just a little lighter than it had been.


	16. Pi Date

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which Camille broke Magnus' heart, Will makes him go on a blind date, and Alec turns out to be just what he didn't realise he was looking for.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well look at that. It's an update! Finally! Enjoy, guys :)

Magnus Bane sighed heavily as he glanced at himself in the mirror for the fiftieth time that morning. He really wasn't sure why he was trying so hard. It wasn't like this day would be a success. It wasn't like it would be any better than any other attempt in the last three months.

A year ago, Magnus had broken up with his long-term girlfriend after he'd found her cheating on him. And since, he'd found nothing meaningful, with anyone.

Three months ago, his best friend, Will, had stepped in. He'd been sick of Magnus' miserable moping, so he'd decided to set him up on a series of utterly disastrous blind dates. He'd had a drink thrown in his face twice, been felt up within half an hour of meeting three times, and one girl had stormed out when he let slip that he was also into guys.

So why, exactly, Will thought this date would be any better was completely beyond him. Every person Will had set him up with so far had been awful. Magnus was beginning to doubt his friend's judgement.

Then again, Will had a fiancé. Will had stood and made out with someone he was wholly in love with when they'd told the country that he could get married to a man. Magnus had stood at the side feeling very lonely.

He sighed again, ran a hand through his perfectly-styled hair, then grabbed his phone and hollered to Will that he was going.

"I have a good feeling about this one," Will said, appearing around the door with a large hickey on his neck that had not been there half an hour ago. Magnus felt mildly nauseous. "I think it'll be good."

"What's his name again? Alex?"

"Alec," Will corrected him. "Don't get that wrong. His sister was very particular about that. He's not a fan of being called Alex."

Magnus' eyebrows shot up. "His sister?"

"Mmhm. I get the impression that he's...socially reserved." Will smirked. "It'll be interesting."

Great. He was being set up by someone who wanted to be on this goddamn date about as much as he did, and who was apparently not a fan of social settings. Fabulous. This would be excruciating.

"I hate you," Magnus told him, before storming out and slamming the door.

What the hell were Will and Jem doing making out in _his_ apartment, anyway?

***

Magnus had seated himself in a booth in the corner of Taki's coffee shop when he arrived, five minutes early, having glanced around and seen nobody who appeared to be waiting for him. Will had told him to wear red jeans and a blazer, so he'd be easily recognisable, and apparently it would fall to Alec to work out who he was.

Frankly, Magnus would have been perfectly happy to sit with his coffee and watch the passers-by for an hour, and then go home. He wasn't interested in dating some jerk who went on a blind date with him. He wasn't really interested in dating at all, right now. Camille had ruined his heart for a good while. He wasn't ready to trust anyone again.

Magnus' eyes flickered over to the door as a swirl of dark tattoos caught his eye. He couldn't help it—tattoos and piercings completely did him in. And, as he glanced up, he noted with vague interest that the rest of the person wasn't half bad, either. He was tall, whoever he was, with a head of shocking black hair that looked like it hadn't seen a brush in the last decade. His head was ducked down, so Magnus couldn't see his face. He could, however, see the attractive breadth of his shoulders and chest, covered by a denim button-down, and black jeans that did absolutely everything for his ass.

Magnus was so busy staring that he flushed - _he_ , flushed - when the stranger glanced up and caught his gaze. Magnus looked down quickly, blue eyes burnt into his mind.

"Excuse me?" The voice was shy. "Are you Magnus?"

"Yes, I—" He turned his gaze to the voice, and paused when he realised that he was being addressed by the tall, handsome stranger with the beautiful, beautiful ass. "Who's asking?"

"I'm Alec." Alec's cheeks were growing steadily redder. Magnus had to force himself not to gawp. This was Alec? Jesus Christ. Wasn't Alec supposed to be a _nerd_? This beautiful specimen of a man was not a nerd, on any level. Why had Magnus thought he was a nerd? Had Will ever said he was a nerd?

Magnus turned on his charm, and shot Alec a smile. Even if he didn't particularly want to date Alec, he'd be perfectly happy to hook up with him. Which was more than could be said for most of his recent dates.

"Hello," Magnus said. He motioned across the table with his hand. "Are you going to sit down?"

Alec flushed again, and slid into the seat opposite Magnus, ducking his head, black bangs obscuring his face. Magnus took the chance to stare at his tattoos. What he wouldn't give to get a view of those biceps...

Before Magnus could start flirting, the waitress appeared at their table. She smiled at Magnus warmly - he was a regular and she got bored sometimes, so they'd talked on several occasions - and then turned her attention to Alec.

"What can I get you?" she asked him.

"Um, black coffee, please," he said quietly, barely looking at her. Magnus blinked. He'd assumed that Alec's embarrassment had been due to his interest in Magnus. Apparently, he was a shy guy. How could someone who looked like that and had that many tattoos be shy ordering a cup of coffee?

"Sure thing," she said. She gave them another smile, then disappeared round back to get Alec his coffee.

Magnus took a sip of his own. "So, Alec—"

"Did you know that New Yorkers drink about seven times more coffee than any other city in the US?" he blurted out, sounding like he was being stabbed in the stomach while he spoke.

Magnus stared at him. Alec's eyes were wide, and he looked away quickly.

"No," Magnus said slowly. "I didn't. But I do know that despite what people keep telling me, it doesn't sober me up. It's very disappointing."

Alec glanced up at him again. "People think caffeine makes you sober because alcohol makes you drowsy, and caffeine makes you more alert. The only foolproof way to get sober is by metabolising the alcohol. Caffeine doesn't speed that up. In fact—" Alec bit his lip, and Magnus couldn't help that his eyes were drawn to the movement.

He forced his eyes back up to Alec's. They were so blue. How was it possible to have eyes so blue? But Magnus was still more stunned by the contrast between his appearance and his mannerisms. Shy and quite clearly a complete nerd, yet the most attractive person Magnus had spoken to in months and months.

"In fact?" Magnus prompted him.

"Never mind. I'm sorry. I, um—"

"Here's your coffee."

Magnus' favourite waitress appeared at just the right moment, simultaneously saving Alec's dignity and giving him something to fiddle with. Magnus watched him for a moment. He wondered whether Alec refusing to look at him was a sign that this date was going badly.

A series of numbers reaching up the inside of Alec's sleeve caught Magnus' attention. His eyebrows shot up, and he couldn't help grinning a little.

"You have Pi tattooed on your arm?" he asked.

Alec's gaze snapped up. His cheeks reddened. Or maybe they'd been red all the time. "Uh, yeah."

"Why Pi? Why not...E?"

Alec's lips quirked up, though he still looked embarrassed. "Because Pi is cooler. Pi is all about circles, and I like circles. You can do so many things with them. Like the unit circle. And there's no beginning and no end. Sometimes I wish life was like that."

That peaked Magnus' interest. "No endings, I can understand. Endings hurt." Camille's face popped into his mind, but he pushed it hastily away. "But beginnings? Beginnings are exciting and new and hopeful."

Alec shrugged. "People like you might get a rush out of beginnings. People like me want to run away. Beginnings are hard, and I'm not good at them. Which is why I'm on this date in the first place. My sister's attempt to force me into a beginning and make it past into whatever comes next."

"Well," Magnus said, struck with the strange urge to reassure Alec, "as beginnings go, you're not doing badly."

Alec snorted. "Right."

"I'm serious. I mean, my last few dates have thrown various coloured drinks in my face or just been plain assholes, so you're turning out to be a fantastic date."

Alec looked at him, hopeful and nervous and doubtful. Magnus grinned. Alec smiled tentatively. And then he was laughing, and it was the most ridiculously beautiful thing Magnus had heard, and he couldn't stop staring.

Alec, of course, stopped abruptly and went red yet again when he noticed Magnus staring. "I– Um, I'm sorry."

Magnus shook his head. "Don't be. You're beautiful. Especially when you smile."

Alec averted his gaze, and, very quietly, mumbled, "Thanks."

"Do the rest of your tattoos have meanings?" Magnus asked, feeling the need to hear Alec talk again. He usually liked talking. He was happy to listen, too, if the person wasn't obnoxious and unpleasant, but he just wanted to listen to Alec's voice. It was oddly soothing.

"Um." Alec glanced down at his exposed forearms, as though he wasn't exactly sure. "Some of them do. Some are just pretty."

"Not themed?"

Alec looked at him for a moment, as though trying to decide whether Magnus was making polite conversation or whether he was actually interested. Magnus did his best to look earnest. He was curious, and he did want to know. More than he'd wanted to know about any of his other dates.

"My right arm was the first one I got done. It's just lots of bits that say a lot about me. It's myself mapped out in pictures. Does that make any sense?"

Magnus nodded. "Of course. What about your left arm?"

"That's just things I fancied. My tattoo artist is pretty good at what he does."

"He is, clearly," Magnus agreed. "What's that?" He pointed to a looping symbol on the inside of his wrist, prettily designed but simple.

"Oh." Alec flushed at little, but a nostalgic smile spread across his face. "That was actually the first tattoo I ever got. My best friend and I both got the same one."

Magnus' eyebrows shot up at that. "Oh?"

"He persuaded me to get it to piss off my parents. We were eighteen." He rolled his eyes. "Well. I was eighteen. He was underage."

"Were you just in a particularly rebellious stage?"

"Ah, no." Alec glanced down at his wrist, smile dropping away. Magnus felt bad for the uncomfortable expression that settled on Alec's face. "I came out to my parents when I graduated from high school. They kicked me out. Like, immediately. Jace and Izzy– I mean, my best friend and my sister were great, but I've barely spoken to my parents since."

Sympathy shot through him. He reached out and covered Alec's hand with his, squeezing gently. Alec glanced up at him in surprise. He felt tense, but Magnus felt him begin to relax under his touch.

"I'm sorry," Magnus said.

Alec smiled, small but genuine. "It's okay. It was a while ago. It's not like I'm lonely. I miss them, but I'm okay."

It was so honest, so lacking self-pity, so at odds to the dark tattoos and fierce appearance. And, good fucking god, it was attractive.

"How old are you?" Magnus asked him.

"Twenty-six. You?"

"Twenty-four."

Alec took another large swig of his coffee, withdrawing his hand from under Magnus', and Magnus couldn't help but feel disappointed at the loss of contact. It was a shame, really. He doubted Alec was the kind of person who fancied a quick hookup and no string attached. Magnus was desperate to get a look at what kind of delicious things were going in underneath Alec's clothes, because fuck, those _biceps_...

"What about your family?" Alec asked, the words coming out in a rush again, as though he was embarrassed to be the one asking questions.

"I actually grew up in foster care," Magnus said. "My parents both died when I was very young. I was never adopted."

Horror washed over Alec's face, followed closely by mortification and sorrow. "Oh god, I'm so sorry, I didn't mean to—"

"Alec." Magnus laughed. "It's okay. I met my best friend in foster care. I might nit have my parents, but like you said, I'm not lonely." For a moment he paused, studying Alec, the firm line of his jaw and the sharp angle of his cheekbones and light blue eyes that Magnus would have been happy to stare at for hours. "If I were to guess that you're into art," he said, "would I be wrong?"

"Um, no? I paint for a living. I work in Jocelyn Fairchild's studio."

Magnus couldn't help but smile at that. Of course Alec worked in the most rundown art studio in Brooklyn that produced the best art in New York.

"Come on." Magnus stood up, and motioned with a jerk of his head. "I want to take you somewhere."

***

When they got to the gallery, tucked away on the corner of a back street, Alec's eyes lit up at the title of the exhibition. _The Industrial Revolution in Street Art._

"Oh my god," Alec said, turning to face Magnus with a huge smile on his face. "Are you serious? How the hell did you just know about this place off the top of your head?"

"I'm a teacher. I teach history. My students always love this place."

Alec did a double-take. "You're a teacher?"

Magnus raised his eyebrows. "Yes. Is that a problem?"

"No!" Alec looked away quickly, rubbing at the back of his neck. "Of course not, I was just...surprised."

Magnus nudged Alec with his elbow. "Looks can be deceiving."

"Yeah. I know." Alec smiled tentatively at him.

Magnus held out his hand. "Let's see what they're showing at this place."

Alec took his hand. Magnus' heart did a tiny, tiny little flip at the pressure of their palms pressed together. And, even though he knew it wasn't, he told himself that it was just because Alec was so goddamn attractive.

It had nothing to do with the fact that, actually, Magnus kind of liked him.

***

Watching Alec in his element gave him a similar feeling to watching his students when they saw their exam results and their faces went from incredulous to joyous. Alec was walking around, pointing to the paintings and explaining the little details behind them, linking them back to the original street art pieces that had been transferred onto canvas.

Magnus could have listened to Alec talk like that all day. He understood the art from a historical viewpoint; hearing Alec made them seem magical.

The exhibition wasn't very big, most of the pieces in just a single room, but they still spent a good hour looking round, Alec gushing about the paintings and Magnus staring at him, listening to his words like a child enraptured by a fairytale.

"Thank you," Alec said when they walked out. "For bringing me here. It... It's been a long time since somebody did something like that."

Oh, how Magnus wished he were in a better place. He liked Alec. He liked his honesty. He liked his passion, even if it seemed to be hidden behind walls of conditioning and embarrassment. He liked his ass, because Magnus was shallow and really, how often did non-platonic relationships ever come without physical attraction?

"Magnus..." Alec had paused on the sidewalk.

Magnus turned back to face him. "Alec."

"I didn't– I mean, I– Can I see you again?"

For a moment, Magnus stared at him. Alec wanted to see him again? Go on another date? He deflated a little at the thought. _Date_. He wasn't good at dating. Not the same person. Not for long. "Alec..."

"I'm sorry," Alec blurted out. "I know I– I shouldn't have asked. I'm always saying all this crap and I speak without thinking, and I know nobody's interested and—"

Magnus' eyes widened a little. "No, Alec, I like that you—"

"I'm terrible at dating and flirting and being with people. I'm bad at social situations. I don't know what to say or what to do with myself, and look at me, I'm rambling and blurting out this bullshit, and I—"

"Hush," Magnus said softly, and kissed him. Alec froze for a moment, Magnus' hand on his cheek, thumb stroking across his jaw, and then he felt Alec's hands sliding round his waist, fingers going under his blazer to the stretch of skin exposed between his jeans and his tank top, and all Magnus could do was hang on and press closer, because god, Alec was the most wonderful kisser.

He couldn't remember when a kiss last felt like this. He poured everything into it, parting Alec's lips and tangling his fingers in his hair, and moaning softly when Alec's teeth raked across his lower lip.

Finally, finally, Magnus had to pull back, because if he kissed Alec for any longer he'd be doing things not appropriate for a New York sidewalk.

"I'd love to go on another date with you," Magnus said, brushing back a lock of Alec's hair. And, he realised, he would. He wanted to take Alec somewhere else that made his eyes light up like that. He wanted to learn more about him. He wanted Alec to know him, in the way so few people did. He wanted to take Alec to dinner and hold his hand over the table and smile while Alec told him random nerdy facts and bits of trivia.

Alec stared at him. "You... What?"

"Would love to go on another date with you."

Alec kept staring. "Are you serious?"

Magnus' lips quirked up. "Alexander, you have to stop playing so hard to get. Of course I would. You've been a fantastic date. I'd like to get to know you better, and I'd like to spend more time with you."

Alec got that same look of wonder in his eyes, and a smile spread across his face. "Really?"

_Who told you you're not worth it, Alec?_

"Really." Magnus' fingers were still on Alec's face, and Alec's arms were still wrapped around his waist, and he didn't want to move. "But I should warn you, I haven't dated for a while. Not properly. And I'm not always very good at relationships, if it gets to that stage. Which I'd like it to. But I'll try. I promise."

Was that too much? That was probably too much. All they'd agreed on was a second date, and Magnus was talking about relationships, for god's sake. But Alec—

"I'm not a casual kind of person," Alec admitted. "But I haven't dated for a long time either. So why don't we go on that second date and see where it goes?"

"That sounds like a fantastic idea."

***


End file.
